"You are suffering from what is technically known as an 'Electra Complex'," the psychiatrist is informing his blonde female patient. "In other words, you are in love with your father."
The blonde breaks down into hysterical sobbing.
"Now, now," comforts the shrink. "It's not all that bad."
"Yes..(sniff)...yes, it is," the blonde gets out between sobs.
"I have no chance at all...he's a married man!"
A seal walks into a bar and the bartender says "What can I get you?"
The seal says "Anything but a Canadian Club on ice."
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about all his employees' well being, asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?" To which the blonde replies....."
Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." The boss, feeling very sorry at this point, explains to the young girl. "Why don't you go home for the day.....we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."
The blonde very calmly states......"No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual...."if you need anything, just let me know."
Well, a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!! He rushes out to her, asking, "What's so bad now........are you gonna be ok??"
"No......" exclaims the blonde. "I just got a call from my sister. She told me that HER mom died too!!"
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand into their shopping carts, but "there is a market for cheap wine", said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing. She said: "The right name is important."
So, here we go:
The top 10 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine:
10. Chateau Traileur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp
7. World Championship Riesling
5. Chef Boyardeaux
4. Peanut Noir
3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!
2. Grape Expectations
And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine:
1. Nasti Spumante
The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with white meat
(Possum) or red meat (squirrel).
Quote of the Times;
"Chivalry was a system, which imposed behavioral obligations on women as well as on men. Women were happy to cast their obligations off, yet seem perennially surprised that men haven’t stayed exactly the same."
Link of the Times;
Issue of the Times;
Why 'Ghostbusters' is the most libertarian Hollywood blockbuster of all time by Philip Klein
After learning the sad news that comedy actor and filmmaker Harold Ramis had died, I remarked on Twitter that the 1984 classic "Ghostbusters" (which he co-wrote and co-starred in) was the most libertarian Hollywood blockbuster ever made. I assumed that this was perfectly clear to everybody and that I was making a non-controversial claim -- even asserting the banal conventional wisdom -- but a number of people evidently didn't see where I was coming from.
To me, it's quite obvious. In "Ghostbusters," paranormal activity is becoming a growing problem in New York City. Government doesn't do anything to stop the problem, so private entrepreneurs set up a small business that successfully captures and stores ghosts — for a fee.
But then, the villain -- a regulator from theEnvironmental Protection Agency -- decides to interfere with the private business by cutting off their power, thereby releasing all of the captured ghosts. The EPA agent orders the shut down of the ghost containment unit over the protests of Ramis' character, Dr. Egon Spengler, who says: "Excuse me, this is private property!"
The movie's heroes are taken into police custody after the release of the ghosts. Once the assault by the ghosts causes apocalyptic chaos in New York City and the government is completely helpless in solving the problem, the mayor releases the small-business owners who once again save the day.
How many Hollywood blockbusters involve private businesses as the heroes and government regulators as the villains?
Not to mention the fact that the film is also peppered with lines like this: "I liked the university. They gave us money and facilities. We didn't have to produce anything! You've never been out of college. You don't know what it's like out there. I've worked in the private sector. They expect results."