“I think I’d like chicken, dear,” I replied.
“You’re having soup, numbnuts. I was talking to the dog.”
A study says in 27 years, almost a quarter of the world’s population will be obese. I accept your challenge.
Tens of thousands of Las Vegas casino workers have voted to authorize a strike next month. What happens in Vegas is soon about to stop happening in Vegas.
Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking like a troll?
I’m not a perfect person. I’ve made mistakes along the way, some of them highly regrettable. For that, I’d just like you all to know: I blame the Ambien.
Actress Brigitte Nielsen—Sylvester Stallone’s ex—is pregnant at age 54. How could raising a teenager in your 60s ever seem like a great idea?
WEST POINT, N.Y. – From the moment he stepped onto, as he calls it, Apron 9 ¾, West Point Fourth Classman Blaise Boodlesworthy has been waiting for the end of beast barracks when he heard the cadets will gather in Eisenhower Hall under the watchful portraits of many headmaster generals to be sorted in their houses.
“The sorting hat knows best, but I’ve always known in my heart that I’m a Slytherin,” Boodlesworthy said. “Otherwise, I never would have gone to West Point.”
Though the sorting hat ceremony has not been listed on any training schedule or announced in the instructions he received over the summer, the gray arches, imposing stone and green fields of the United States Military Academy, have reassured Boodlesworthy that West Point is the perfect place for a Slytherin.
“Better Hufflepuff than Slytherin,” mumbled Sergeant 1st Class Hagrid, Boodlesworthy’s TAC NCO, a West Point washout himself. “There wasn’t a single chief of staff of the Army who didn’t come from Slytherin.”
Each house has been represented at West Point over the years with varying results. However, approximately 85 percent of West Point cadets are Slytherins. A few Hufflepuffs pop up every year as branch quartermaster or transfer to the Air Force. Ravenclaws are known to graduate after many hours of fatigue duty and fights in the Firstie Club. Exactly one cadet sorted into Gryffindor. He immediately requested a release to become enlisted. He is now in Ranger Reg and hates everything.
Boodlesworthy has been dreaming of joining the House of Slytherin since Hagrid appeared to him in the cupboard under the stairs in his mom’s basement and whispered, “You’re an officer, Blaise.”
However, since coming to West Point, Boodlesworthy’s entitlement, hijinx, and sense that’s he the chosen boy who can fight the Global War on He Who Must Not be Named has earned him many walks in the yard and most likely will make his first platoon frag him.
“Ambitious, shrewd, cunning.” grumbled Hagrid. “Focused on self-preservation. That’d be the lot of them.”
Two attorneys have planned to meet for lunch, but one of them shows up 30 minutes late.
The one who's been waiting asks his partner: "What kept you?"
"I ran over a Coke bottle and got a flat tire."
"A Coke bottle in the road? Didn't you see it?"
"The kid had it under his coat."
I bet that Van Gogh guy cut off his ear by accident and made up that "lost love" story so he wouldn't look stupid.
Issue of the Times;
Trump's Merkel Moment and Ours by Michael Walsh
Three years ago, a horde of "migrants" from the Islamic ummah arrived suddenly in the Hungarian capital of Budapest, marching right through a sovereign nation without a care in the world. They were on their way to the promised lands of old Christendom, and the glittering, helpless welfare societies that tried to offer cradle-to-grave security but too late realized that it forgot the cradle part, and only had the grave to look forward to. Shortly thereafter, the Hungarians sealed their borders, built a fence, and enlisted other similarly minded countries in central Europe to join them in an adamant refusal to admit "migrants" masquerading as "refugees."
The Muslim army was raised and funded by unknown players, but it was welcomed by Angela Merkel, the worst German chancellor since you-know-who. With no personal stake in the future of her country, the childless Merkel was suddenly hailed as Mutti Merkel by her new charges, who then promptly went on a orgy of cultural enrichment that will end with the total collapse of Merkel's government and, hopefully, Merkelism itself. In retrospect, it's clear that the "migrant" horde should have been stopped at the Serbian or Hungarian borders and turned back by any means necessary; Europe is still facing the enormous consequences of Merkel's hideous error.
Now it's America's turn. Thousands of economic migrants -- they make no bones about it -- are heading our way, insouciantly traversing the basket-case failed state of Mexico on their trek to El Norte and boasting that there's no stopping them. The media, speaking for the Democrat party, acts as if this is some sort of natural phenomenon, like an earthquake or a hurricane, and the only "humane" thing to do is to accommodate them in America, no questions asked.
Luckily, President Trump is made of sterner stuff that either Merkel or the media. He's announced he's cutting back on aid to the three worst, most dysfunctional and violent countries in Central America (Honduras, Guatemala and El Salvador), has demanded that our friends the Mexicans stop them before they reach Texas and Arizona, and has even threatened to use the U.S. military to prevent the migrants from crossing into American territory.
Activists say the journey through of at least 3,000 kilometers (1,800 miles) through Mexico to the US border could take a month. "We are well aware that this country (Mexico) didn't receive us as we expected, and they can return us to Honduras, and we also know there are drug traffickers who kidnap and kill migrants," Juan Flores, one of those migrants, told AFP. "But we live with more fear in our country, so we carry on forward," he added.
But fear of your own befouled nest is no excuse to invade another country. Once, "refugee" meant people fleeing active war zones, who would be temporarily displaced in other countries until the war ended and they could either return to their homes or wait in DP camps until their applications for admission were decided. Today, a "refugee" is anyone who desires to live in the United States, and who should therefore be allowed entry with no questions asked.
Every time you see a Caravan, or people illegally coming, or attempting to come, into our Country illegally, think of and blame the Democrats for not giving us the votes to change our pathetic Immigration Laws! Remember the Midterms! So unfair to those who come in legally.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 22, 2018
Naturally, these blunt sentiments horrify the American Left, which views everything as either America's fault or America's responsibility, and is determined to join forces with its counterparts in Europe in its project of population replacement. Using declining birthrates in First World countries as its wedge, in part by enthusiastically demanding the untrammeled "right" of women to murder their babies in the womb, they now insist that the solution to low population growth is to import foreigners en masse, on the egalitarian theory that a Guatemalan peasant and a Connecticut Yankee are interchangeable in their abilities, work ethic, and cultural patrimony.
This is manifestly untrue (history, in fact, proves it conclusively), but no matter. Such quaint notions as national sovereignty are as outdated as the American Constitution itself - the Left has finally emerged from its pseudo-patriotic closet to call for the destruction of the United States of America. For what is the difference whether the country is invaded by the military units of a foreign power (which hasn't happened in the U.S. since the War of 1812) or an unarmed "caravan" that overwhelmingly consists of military age men and is intent upon violating American law? What do we do with such people?
We stop them. Yes, this is a deliberate provocation - the Left is betting that America won't dare use force to protect itself, wouldn't want to take the public-relations hit that would come with images of American Border Patrol, National Guard or even regular Army soldiers preventing the horde from entering the country. But, as Trump has often observed, either we have borders or we don't, and if we don't we no longer have a country, but simply an economic system that works better than anything in the Arab world or the Latin American countries.
But their problems are not our problems, unless we make them our problems. The president and the country are now being tested, as surely as Khrushchev tested Kennedy with the missiles of October 56 years ago. The former Soviet premier bet the young American president, having botched the Bay of Pigs, would do nothing stop the installation of Russian ballistic weapons in Cuba. He guessed wrong.
Now Trump must hold fast. This has gone beyond a "humanitarian" crisis (one which in any case should be dealt with by the Central Americans themselves) and now a national crisis. If allowed to continue, it will establish a nation-killing principle.
"No one is going to stop us, after all we've gone through," said 21-year-old Aaron Juarez, who was accompanied by his wife and baby and was walking with difficulty because of an injury.
Honduran farmer Edwin Geovanni Enamorado said he was forced to leave his country because of intimidation by racketeering gangs. "We are tired, but very happy, we are united and strong," he said.
Britany Hernandez added: "We have sunburn. We have blisters. But we got here. Our strength is greater than Trump's threats."
We'll see about that.
Quote of the Times;
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them. – Woderwouse
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