Send this to someone gorgeous.
Don't send it back to me, I’ve already received hundreds of the fucking things.
Pete: "The last time I was out hunting, I stepped off a high cliff, and would you believe it, while I was falling every fool deed I'd ever done came into my mind."
Bob: "Must have been a pretty high mountain."
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way.
The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; the pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle. The copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with sunglasses.
At first, the passengers do not react thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. After a few minutes though, the engines start revving, and the airplane begins moving down the runway.
The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness. They start whispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance.
Yet, the plane starts accelerating rapidly, and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical.
When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once. At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne.
Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells the pilot: "You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we’re all gonna die!”
Two confirmed bachelors sat talking, their conversation drifted from politics to cooking.
"I got a cookbook once," said one, "but I could never do anything with it."
"Too much fancy work in it, eh?" asked the other.
"You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way - 'Take a clean dish."
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.
Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"
A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "He's probably a basketball coach?"
Issue of the Times;
A Stick in the Eye for the Soft Invasion by Christopher Hart
For the first time in 100 years, a British national election has been won by a party other than Conservative or Labor. Conservative: 24%; Labor: 25%; UKIP: 27%. It’s an historic result.
Let’s not get too excited. This isn’t the General Election, which decides the national government for the next five years or so. This is the election of our representatives to the European Parliament: that joke institution of faceless tax-and-spend bureaucrats who can issue 20,000-word directives on correct practices concerning hazelnuts. (No, I’m not making this up.)
Most people have traditionally taken little notice of the EU elections, since the European Union is so remote, incomprehensible, and boring. But this election has become a mighty protest vote, a cry of anger from the people, against the EU. And it’s the same story across Europe. The anti-EU, anti-immigration French National Front won 26% of the votes, the Danish People’s Party another 26%, Austria’s Freedom Party 20%.
The victors in Britain are UKIP—the UK Independence Party. They are led by the charismatic, beer-drinking, cigarette-smoking Nigel Farage, who likes to portray himself as a man of the people. He’s actually an ex-commodities broker, from a background as smart and privileged as that of most smooth-suited professional politicians nowadays. But he is in touch with what the plebes are thinking, an instinct that eludes most of his peers.
Farage does everything that politicians shouldn’t do. He dismissed a previous manifesto by his own party as “486 pages of drivel.” He refused to sack one of his members who referred to Africa as “Bongo-Bongo Land.” And he recently said that if he had to have a foreign family living next door, he would rather they were German than Romanian. Shock, horror! He was suggesting that not all foreigners are equal! The liberal lapdog media declared him finished—but people supported him all the more. They agreed that some foreigners are likely to be more civilized than others, but were too scared to say so out loud, for fear of hate crime charges from the thought police. But people do have a hierarchy of preferences: always have and always will. They prefer people like them. Most English people would rather live next door to their own. They can converse over the garden fence in English, the wife isn’t hidden under a burqa, and they get the allusions to Monty Python sketches. So those who can afford it live in areas of Britain where this is likely to be the case.
If not English, Dutch or Danish neighbors would probably be OK—or German, despite one or two little misunderstandings over the past century. They behave much as English people would behave. This isn’t prejudice. Prejudice means pre-judging, without evidence. This is informed opinion. If the family is Romanian, they may well be gypsy too—or “Roma,” as we are now obliged to say. And they are factually more likely to steal. Romanians are now the fifth largest group of foreigners in our jails, squeezing in between Jamaicans and Pakistanis. The cost of our Eastern European prison population is now £73 million a year, kindly paid for by the British taxpayer whom they went to jail for robbing in the first place. If our next-door neighbors are Somalian, Afghan, Nigerian, or Pakistani, they are statistically more likely to remove their wives’ clitorises, to murder their daughters for being seen with a white English boy, to think that 9/11 or our own 7/7 bombings were a fine idea, or to behead a British soldier in a London street (see “Drummer Lee Rigby, death of”). Not all Muslims are terrorists, no; but almost all terrorists these days are Muslims.
The people of Britain do not feel, on the whole, that these new features of our national life have “enriched” us. And certain stripes in our happy-clappy multi-culti rainbow are directly at odds with each other. Our left-liberal establishment is pressing ahead with gay marriage, for instance: two gentlemen will walk up the aisle, and walk back down again as husband and wife. How is a traditional Muslim family supposed to “integrate,” to feel at home, in such a society? Have our leaders quite thought this one through?
UKIP has risen to the top because of all of this. Their triumph in the elections isn’t essentially anti-EU as such—although there are plenty of reasons to be anti-EU, for sure. To take an example: the European’s Union’s financial accounts have failed their annual audit for 18 years in succession. So many billions of pounds of European taxpayers’ money go missing each year—into Mafia motorway scams, wind farm skims, and olive oil scandals—that the accounts don’t add up. The EU admits it “loses” around £100 billion a year, although it may be much more.
A vote against the EU is the only way a European voter today can vote against mass immigration, because the EU is all for it. Of all the dangerous pipe dreams of this this sclerotic, undemocratic, toxic socialist superstate, none has been more destructive than its Open Borders policy. “Henceforward there is neither Jew nor Greek, Pole nor Spaniard, Welshman nor Romanian gypsy, for ye are all one under EU directive!” And we can move into each other’s countries with instant benefits, free housing, and health care.
It’s a disaster. The flow of white English people to Bulgaria (annual GDP per capita around £4,000) is noticeably sluggish. The other way, it’s pretty lively. The population of Britain, a country much smaller than France or Germany, is approaching 70 million. We’re full up, and we’re fed up. The buses are full, the shops are crowded, our green and pleasant land is being concreted over rapidly thanks to the “housing crisis”: a crisis created by successive pro-immigration governments.
Our celebrated National Health Service we now refer to as the International Health Service, in our droll way. If you’re a white English native, and have law-abidingly paid your taxes for the past forty years, can you get an appointment to see your doctor? Yes, if you quietly take your place in the three-week-long queue behind the obese, wheezing Bulgars, the wall-eyed Estonians, the tubercular Turks and pregnant Nigerians …
Whoa there—surely not even the EU is as one-world and dumb as to think Nigeria is part of Europe? Well, not yet, no. But if a Nigerian, or Somalian, or Kurd can get into one country in the EU—like Malta, or Portugal—he or she can then walk straight into any other. And if a Nigerian lady gets on a plane in Lagos in an advanced state of pregnancy, and times it so her eighth or ninth little darling is delivered just as she reaches British soil, then the baby gets instant British citizenship. Brilliant!
And there are a lot of pregnant Nigerian ladies out there. By 2050, the population of Nigeria will be a staggering 400 million. It’s a country as corrupt and badly run as any in Africa, and fast descending into civil war, thanks to relentless terrorist atrocities. (Would these terrorists be Muslims? Got it in one!) Where would most Nigerians like to come and live instead? Britain looks nice …
The EU makes it almost impossible for member states to remove illegal immigrants, because it’s “against their human rights.” At every turn, the EU looks like the enemy of Britain, of our independent sovereignty, of good and sensible national government. It has become a socialist dream-engine, and the people of Britain know in their bones that socialist dream-engines have a way of reducing millions of human beings to abject misery.
The statistics are terrifying. By 2050, ethnic minorities will make up a third of Britain’s population. Black Africans are the fastest growing group in the country. After centuries, even millennia, as a remarkably homogeneous and comparatively peaceful and stable society, Britain has been overturned by a few decades of ideologically-driven mass immigration. And those immigrants have dangerously little in common with us, no sense of kinship or history, and couldn’t integrate even if they wanted to. The Afghan stowaways, the Somali boat people, even the calculating Nigerian momma—they are not to blame. They want an easier life.
It’s our own left-wing, internationalist ruling class that is to blame, and that has been so furiously trounced in these elections. The psychology of the left here is impossible to fully grasp, but it looks like post-colonial self-hatred, a white disgust at whiteness.
Consider our BBC, once the envy of the world, now a doctrinaire mouthpiece. Not long ago, its white director-general denounced it as “hideously white.” Can you imagine anyone, anywhere, getting away with the phrase “hideously black?”
The BBC is paid for by a mandatory tax called the television license fee. It’s supposed to represent the taxpayers’ views fairly. But like most of our institutions, the BBC is now firmly in the hands of the minority left-liberal ruling class—and like all ruling classes when they feel a threat from majority discontent, it’s becoming ever more intolerant and repressive.
A week ago, a lady called Jasmine Lawrence sent a Tweet about UKIP. Lawrence is a senior editor of the BBC’s rolling news channel. She tweeted dismissively that UKIP, the single most popular political party in Britain at the moment, exists solely for “white, middle class, middle aged men w sexist/racist views.” And nothing is more evil and irrecoverably racist and sexist than a white middle-aged middle-class man.
You might think a statement of such insulting contempt for nearly a third of the tax-paying population she is supposed to serve would be enough to remove Ms. Lawrence from her job. Nope. She shuttered her Twitter account and was taken off election coverage.
Our democracy is in a strange state, and our future as a nation and a people is at grave risk, but at least, for now, it seems that we can vote for a party that represents what we want. Nearly a third of us see immigration as the biggest divisional issue, and want above all for Britain to remain largely, ethnically British.
Such a desire is not racist in any meaningful sense. Viewing another ethnic group as intrinsically inferior is racist. Massacring 800,000 members of a slightly different-looking neighboring tribe with machetes is racist. China’s conduct toward Tibet is underpinned by profound racism, and both European and Arabic enslavement of black Africans over many centuries was racist.
But for an Englishman to say that he likes his country the way it is, and wants it to stay that way, for his children, and his children’s children, is not racist. Nor would it be racist for a Pakistani to object to Islamabad suddenly becoming one-third white English (unlikely as that may be), or for a Nigerian to decry his country’s becoming a third Japanese (again, unlikely). With UKIP’s robust, outspoken, anti-EU and anti-immigration triumph in this election, it seems that a significant percentage of the British people feel the same, and are now, at last, daring to say so.
Quote of the Times;
[The effeminate male, like Rodger, is an] indictment of this infantile Millennial generation, which daily provides evidence that their ranks are filled with effeminate males who, like women, expect the world to cater their needs, no questions asked, no demands made. Elliot Rodger couldn’t stand how unfaaaair girls were to date uglier men than himself, how unfair life was that his car and clothes weren’t a magnet for hot white sorority chicks, how unfair the cosmic laws were to require of him a little bit of effort if he wanted to put an end to his virginity. Egotistic, attention starved, solipsistic, passive aggressive, perpetually aggrieved, and unwilling to change when posing as a martyr feels so damn good… there’s your new American manlet, same as your new American woman.
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