THE PENTAGON — Multiple sources confirmed there would be temporary cease-fires at conflict zones around the world in what is being dubbed a “humanitarian” move to allow soldiers and rebel groups to get to a computer and view the massive trove of nude celebrity photos that leaked online Sunday.
The cease-fires between Israel and Gaza, Ukraine and Russia, and on the Korean peninsula and elsewhere are being hailed by activists as the first time prayers for world peace have finally been answered. Hopes for long-standing calm were soon dashed however, after ISIS militants resumed their fight against Syrian and Iraqi soldiers when they learned the leaked images had no goats among them.
In the image trove leaked online by the 4chan message board were explicit photographs and video of Jennifer Lawrence, Ariana Grande, Kate Upton, and others. Hackers hinted that more could circulate online soon, with a listing of not-yet-published photos including Kim Kardashian, Avril Lavigne, and Mary-Kate Olsen.
Meanwhile, every member of the U.S. military had either told their immediate superiors they were “so sick they can’t even leave the barracks,” or had put in leave requests to be taken immediately, the Pentagon announced.
In a hasty press conference, Pentagon Press Secretary Rear Admiral John Kirby told reporters he would be “spending quality time with his family for a few days,” before quickly packing up his things and making sure his laptop was in good working order.
A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.."
The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me."
As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, "I would like to buy you a drink, too."
The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water."
"Coming up," says the bartender.
As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to buy you one, too."
The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water."
"Coming right up," the bartender says.
As he gives her the drink, he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity.
Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"
The old woman replies,
"Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor.
Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue...."
I had just finished visiting a friend in the hospital and stopped by a burger drive-through for lunch to eat on the way back to work. I ordered the #1 combo (burger, fry, coke) for $4.29.
She said "that'll be $4.83, please drive forward."
"$4.83? For a $4.29 meal? That's 54 cents tax! That can't be right," my mind raced.
Tax is 8 cents on the dollar in Huntsville and for 4 dollars that would be
32 cents plus 1/3 (29) of 8 cents would be 35 cents max. I'd heard of window workers overcharging drive through customers and skimming the money for themselves. Someone did just that to me at a Hardees couple of years ago. I didn't have my calculator watch (I lost it a while back) so I got a pen and paper and did the long division since there were 2 cars ahead of me. Let's see ... 483/429 ... over 12 percent tax!
When I got to the window I handed her a 5 and said "what's the sales tax in Huntsville?"
She didn't know. I said "$4.83 for a $4.29 meal is 12 percent tax. That can't be right. Can I talk to the manager?"
She gave me my change and called the manager.
So the manager comes over.
I ask what the sales tax is in Huntsville, and she says 8 percent.
I say that I just paid $4.83 for a $4.29 meal and that's over 12 percent sales tax.
She got a funny look on her face and said that maybe the computer had rung it up wrong or had charged me for the biggie size. (biggie upgrade was 35 cents - which would be 4.64 plus tax which would put it over $5).
She admitted it was supposed to be 4.63, and opened the drawer to give me my extra change.
"HA!" I thought to myself. "Six years engineering school has so heightened my mental mathematical adeptness that I can do percentages in my head and my superior intellect has foiled a feeble attempt by a drive-through worker to overcharge me."
I took the twenty cents she handed me, proud of my staggering genius, and smugly drove off without my food.
If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day?
Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?
If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot?
Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
Dear Lord," the preacher began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, "without you we are but dust."
He would have continued, but at that moment one very obedient little girl (who was listening carefully) leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mommy, WHAT is butt dust?"
Church was pretty much over at that point.
Issue of the Times;
Bankers Tell It Like it is Top 10 Quotes that Reveal their Crimes
The alternate financial media has been abuzz of late with bizarre stories of the alleged suicides of prominent members of world banking and finance. Over recent weeks, between eight and twelve (some say as many as twenty) successful traders and managers involved with FOREX trading and other derivative currency speculation, have conveniently “decided” to throw themselves from the roof tops of a variety of JP Morgan Chase banks in London, Hong Kong, and New York. Another top banking official, William Broeksmit, former executive at Deutsche Bank, was found hanged in his London home. And others with strong connections to investment banking and the Federal Reserve itself have likewise met unusual deaths. Michael Dueker, former vice president of the St. Louis branch of the Federal Reserve, was found at the bottom of a fifty foot embankment below where he had just parked his car in Tacoma, Washington. The cause of death is still undetermined. The strangest of these deaths was Richard Talley, a former investment banker with Drexel Burnham Lambert who was alleged to have shot himself with a nail gun at least ten times in his Centennial, Colorado, home.
The keen observer will note that a great number of these deaths have occurred in tandem with the extensive multinational regulatory agency investigations of egregious fraud, price fixing, and “front run” trading in the FOREX markets and in the LIBOR index. These markets are gigantic and it is hard for the novice to comprehend the magnitude of money that is involved in daily transactions for both of these. The weekly volume on the FOREX market alone is excess of $20 trillion.
As of two weeks ago, no less than ten global banking giants including JP Morgan Chase, Royal Bank of Scotland, Deutsche Bank, Goldman Sachs, Credit Suisse, Lloyds Banking Group, and others, have found themselves the object of a litany of criminal probes that undoubtedly have created tension and fear, bordering on “flight or fight” panic within these banking conglomerates. Only the extremely naïve could find it hard to believe that the banking world, in order to cover up and protect itself from prosecution of the greatest financial crimes and frauds in history, would not resort to measures of extreme prejudice to eliminate potential material witnesses.
The key point to understand here, however, is that this is not at all a new phenomenon. The history of banking in the modern era (since the establishment of the Bank of England in the late 17th century), has been nothing but an ugly cavalcade of theft of sovereign national treasuries too vast to calculate. From the beginning, these large private central banks (the Bank of England, the Federal Reserve, the Bank of Japan, etc.), were intentionally designed to operate freely above the rule of law in their respective nations. They have been the financiers of most of the conflicts and wars in the last two centuries and are continuing to do so unabated to the present. Countless millions have died in these bankers’ wars in service to the unbridled greed of these financiers.
Through the massive inflation of each nation’s currency they dominate, the bankers have robbed the citizens of the purchasing power of their money and with it, their life savings. Since the establishment of the Federal Reserve in 1913, for example, the purchasing power of the US dollar has been eroded to nearly 1/100th of its original value. This has not been accidental. This was planned from the beginning. Private fractional reserve central banking is the greatest criminal conspiracy that continues to this day to hide in plain sight.
But please, don’t just think this is only our opinion. Fascinatingly, the bankers themselves have throughout the decades, clearly revealed their purpose and intent. At this juncture, we would like to offer some quotes for you by the highest ranking members of the banking elite, past and present.
“The bank hath benefit of interest on all moneys which it creates out of nothing.” William Paterson, founder of the Bank of England in 1694
“Let me issue and control a nation’s money and I care not who writes the laws.” Mayer Amschel Rothschild (1744-1812), founder of the House of Rothschild.
“If my sons did not want wars, there would be none.” Gutle Schnaper, wife of Mayer Amschel Rothschild and mother of his five sons
“The few who understand the system will either be so interested in its profits or be so dependent upon its favours that there will be no opposition from that class, while on the other hand, the great body of people, mentally incapable of comprehending the tremendous advantage that capital derives from the system, will bear its burdens without complaint, and perhaps without even suspecting that the system is inimical to their interests.” The Rothschild brothers of London writing to associates in New York, 1863
“Banking was conceived in iniquity and was born in sin. The Bankers own the Earth. Take it away from them, but leave them the power to create deposits, and with the flick of a pen they will create enough deposits to buy it back again. However, take it away from them, and all the fortunes like mine will disappear, and they ought to disappear, for this world would be a happier andbetter world to live in. But if you wish to remain slaves of the Bankers and pay for the cost of your own slavery, let them continue to create deposits.” Sir Josiah Stamp, President of the Bank of England in the 1920s, the second richest man in Britain
“When you or I write a check, there must be sufficient funds in our account to cover the check; but when the Federal Reserve writes a check, there is no bank deposit on which that check is drawn. When the Federal Reserve writes a check, it is creating money.” From the Boston Federal Reserve Bank pamphlet, “Putting it Simply.”
“Neither paper currency nor deposits have value as commodities. Intrinsically, a ‘dollar’ bill is just a piece of paper. Deposits are merely book entries.”“ Modern Money Mechanics Workbook” – Federal Reserve of Chicago, 1975
“I am afraid the ordinary citizen will not like to be told that the banks can and do create money. And they who control the credit of the nation direct the policy of Governments and hold in the hollow of their hand the destiny of the people.”Reginald McKenna, as Chairman of the Midland Bank, addressing stockholders in 1924
“I am just a banker doing God’s work.” Lloyd Blankfein, CEO, Goldman Sachs, 2009
“Banks do not have an obligation to promote the public good.” Alexander Dielius, CEO, Germany, Austrian, Eastern Europe Goldman Sachs, 2010
So there it is in their own words. The arrogance, elitism, and condescension of bankers towards the common citizen are starkly revealed. These brilliant criminals have created the Ponzi scheme of all Ponzi schemes and so far, protected it from any form of criminal prosecution. However, that might be about to change. Awareness of their criminality is growing throughout the world at a rapid pace but never doubt that this group will fight tenaciously and be willing to go to any extremes to protect their centuries’ old scam. We predict there will undoubtedly be more strange banker deaths ahead of us in the ensuing weeks, months, and years.
The next time you walk into your local bank, please ask yourself this question, “Do I really want to entrust my hard earned wages and savings to a centuries’ old criminal scheme?” If you don’t, please consider gold and silver for protection of your wealth.”
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