Things Philosophy Students Are Tired Of Hearing
1. “Philosophy. What’s that then?”
2. “Oh, so it’s just thinking about stuff?”
Yep. Sure. You’ve absolutely nailed it. That is literally all it is.
3. “I like thinking.”
4. “I guess I’m more spiritual than religious.”
5. “So you’ll be able to tell me: What does it all mean?”
What on earth makes you think I can tell you that?
6. “Do I exist?”
I DON’T KNOW.
7. “I’m a pretty logical person.”
That doesn’t mean what you think it means.
8. “That wasn’t really necessary, was it?”
Nope. That’s not what that means either.
9. “So if a tree fell and no one was there to hear it…”
Sure, just bear with me a moment while I sum up this intensely complicated area of philosophy that numerous books have been written about.
10. “So basically nothing matters, then.”
It matters to me that you SHUT UP.
11. “Do I have free will?”
Just read a book. Please. Just. Read. A. Book.
12. “I read some Nietzsche once.”
13. “Yeah, it’s basically like Occam’s razor.”
So you did GCSE RE? Good for you.
14. “So do you speak German?”
No. No, I don’t speak German.
15. “How’s the job search going?”
Yeah, really well, thanks. How about yours? You’re exactly on track? Achieving all of your goals? Living out your dreams? Hitting your targets? Yes? Good.
16. “Don’t you sometimes wish you’d done something more…practical?”
Every. Single. Day.
17. “But how will you earn money?”
Got any more intensely personal questions? I’m all ears.
We had a power failure at my house this afternoon and my PC, laptop, TV, DVD, iPad & my new surround sound music system were all shut down. Then I discovered that my iPhone battery was flat, and to top it off it was raining outside, so I couldn't play golf.
I went into the kitchen to make coffee, and then I remembered that this also needs power, so I talked with my wife for a few hours. She seems like a nice person.
I bet kangaroos get drunk and find some ridiculous shit in their pouches in the morning.
Threesomes are so awkward when you’re the only one conscious.
Depressed? Keep your chin up cuz when it’s down it looks like there’s two of them, which is gross.
If you have a parrot and you don’t teach it to say, “Help, they’ve turned my into a parrot”, you are wasting everybody’s time.
They were called Jumpolines until your Mom got on one.
I bet Arnold Schwarzenegger watches ‘how to catch a predator’ like “Nope, that’s not how AT ALL!”
I envy Bigfoot. My Dad believes in him.
This girl at the bar thinks that sci-fi and fantasy are the same genre! Good luck getting into MY pants, loser!
Nothing screams “gay” like my stepdad at me.
If you’re purchasing a Dollar Store pregnancy test, I think we both know you can’t afford a positive.
Smuggling is the cutest sounding felony.
If you want to know what a guy’s O face looks like, ask him to play air guitar.
You’d think that the guy in charge of putting pepperoni on frozen pizzas would’ve been up for a performance review by now.
I’m at the point in my marriage where it takes me a few minutes after I wake up to remember if we’re mad at each other or not.
Let’s hope the zombie apocalypse doesn’t start in Kenya because there is no way any of us can outrun those fuckers.
Some people are so quick to judge. I always notice this right away.
I want to be “Y’know, people aren’t so bad drunk, not “Kurt Cobain was killed by the Illuminati” drunk.
So You Think You Can Fly a Plane would be a funny show.
When I see a bruised apple at the market, I give it a soft hug and whisper, “Who did this to you?”
A Laser Jet sounds like the coolest thing of all time ever, but it’s not, it’s a fucking printer.
You should date black guys. How girls tell each other they’re fat.
So my brother was all “You’re adopted!” and I was all “OMG are you flirting with me?!?” and then everything got weird.
The people on this bus just need to relax and let me tickle them.
Have the crips ever tried releasing bulls into blood territory? Seems like that would be super effective.
“You can masturbate freely after your spouse falls asleep” – Subtext of jumping on a mattress without spilling a glass of wine.
Is it okay to say “Owned!” to black people?
Just saw my parents having sex. That’s the last time I go on that website.
Every elevator should have the 2 button replaced with a “Congratulations, fatass.”
A black guy should buy all the Cracker Barrel restaurants and not change the name.
Any bag of M&M’s is Family Size when you’re an orphan.
There’s really no way of knowing whether a pile of laundry used to be a Jedi.
Wait, why the fuck did Frogger die when he jumped into the water?
Stop asking us to find your X. She’s not coming back.
Issue of the Times;
The Ferguson Riots Show Why Good Cops Will Quit
Cops have been risking their lives for many years now with little appreciation from the communities they serve. Being underappreciated has always been acceptable and has never stopped any of us from going to work every day. But as explained in my previous article, “Why Americans Should Reconsider Their Contempt for Today’s Police” lack of appreciation is turning into contempt and condemnation. Unreasonable contempt and condemnation from the community an officer serves will cause him to turn in his uniform. I think Ferguson will be a test to see how cops react, and could prove to be the beginning of the end for good cops.
Mike Brown was branded an “unarmed black teenager” from the very beginning. As the media covered the story, the naive American public had little choice but to imagine poor little Mike walking home from school, thrilled to get home and tell his mother that he got an “A” in science. And then again to tell his father when he got home from work.
When such an angel is imagined dead in the street, one cannot help but to picture the grotesque monster that gunned him down. The nameless, faceless officer was drawn up in every psychotic mind within this newly divided America. Every fringe painted their own specific and frightening image of the evil cop. The leftists and black supremacists only needed to draw the policeman as white, while the new right wing drew him as a militarized robot. With that, a conceptual, inhuman monster emerged as a common enemy to opposing sides; all before any real information was known.
For days, nobody knew why the altercation even started between Mike Brown and the police. We still don’t even know all the facts surrounding the actual shooting other than initial reports that Mike Brown was inside the police car fighting with the officer in a struggle over the officer’s gun.
Then recently we learned that Mike Brown committed a strong-arm robbery at a local store before being stopped by police. An officer happened to stop Mike shortly after for walking in the middle of the street (A side note: You might consider a cop addressing jaywalking as harassment, but it is common for inner city youth to walk in the street to disrupt traffic and look for a fight with people who challenge them). It is apparent from the store footage that Mike Brown doesn’t mind a fight, and I’m sure he thought he was being stopped for robbing that store just minutes prior, and was already preparing for another fight in order to avoid going to jail.
Mike Brown thought he could just take things that were not his, and use violence against property owners that tried to stop him. When stopped by the police, he decided to attack the officer and to try to take his gun. As a result, Mike ended up dead, but thankfully the officer that was doing his job is ok, right? Thank God we have guys like him to maintain law and order, correct? Instead, Ferguson burns while some people exclaim racism and cry that they are subject to a police state.
Reaction The fringes went into full gear to exploit the incident to further their agendas. Black supremacists marched behind the mask of justice, while the confused new right wing offered indirect social media support. Freedom loving, second amendment preservers with CCW permits who would have shot Mike Brown in the same situation might have even joined the rioters if they could—just for that chance to hurt a cop and symbolically get revenge against a system that has forsaken them.
If you are a critical thinker, consider if your contempt for the police is instrumented by leftists after all. You’re compelled to sit idly by while cops that represent law and order are run over in the streets, ultimately standing down in the end, leaving the amount of property damage and carnage up to the emotion and will of unjust rioters and racial supremacists. Ferguson will ripple from city to city, if only as a reminder to certain groups of what they can get away with. You feel some sort of victory as you mistake your friends as enemies and your enemies as friends.
In “The Death of a Nation,” a book written in 1968 by John A. Stormer about communist infiltration in America and how to fight it, a few suggestions are offered:
“Support your local police. Determine whether they have authority to put down trouble when it starts. Have they been hamstrung by political restrictions as police in Detroit, Newark, and other cities have been? Expose communist efforts to undermine confidence in local police forces.”
Is there even a single city left that isn’t “hamstrung by political restrictions?”
He goes on to quote J. Edgar Hoover:
“…for years it has been communist policy to charge ‘police brutality’ in a calculated campaign to discredit law enforcement and to accentuate racial issues. The riots and disorders of the past three years clearly highlight the success of this communist smear campaign in popularizing the cry of ‘police brutality’ to a point where it has been accepted by many individuals having no affiliation with or sympathy for the communist movement.”
Inadvertently supporting radical leftists by condemning law enforcement, which is the immune system that is tasked with fighting their disease, is suicide. It is fantasy to imagine the criminal rioters in Ferguson as freedom-loving Americans that have been wronged, and supporting them is taking on the role of the left’s “useful idiot.” I know that officer did not execute Mike Brown like they contend. In the end, we may see some issues of poor tactics or bad decisions, but we all know that Mike Brown was not just walking home from school, and he was not the “gentle giant” that the media needed to convince the public he was in the beginning to get emotions flared up.
Militarized or modern? The new right wing wrongly concludes that leftists want strong local police forces to enforce <insert leftist agenda here>, but they actually don’t. Not yet. The left probably will not support strong police agencies until they are centralized by disbanding local agencies into large metropolitan ones, which is slowly happening under the guise of budget deficits. Actually, the left often uses political correctness and activism to weaken local police departments that have decent control over their criminal elements.
I’ve been trying to convey in my previous articles that local cops are still very local. Even if they don’t live in the ghetto that they patrol, there’s a good chance they grew up there or nearby and still have roots within. There is room for improvement via self-evaluation necessary from cops as noted in my last article, but they still have their hearts in the right place; they can be swayed and won over with your support, or at least with a lack of your condemnation. Leftists and racial supremacists cannot be won over.
Does the fact that the mainstream media condemns the “militarized police” say anything? Rand Paul recently used Ferguson as an opportunity to take measures to “de-militarize the police.” What exactly is a militarized cop anyway? Weapons and tactics have always evolved. Were the police militarized when they transitioned from revolvers to semi-automatic pistols? Or when they began wearing bulletproof vests? I wonder if some old-timer once condemned those dastardly constables and their unnecessary automobiles that they were always zooming around in while fondly thinking of the simpler times when lawmen rode horses. Even before that, someone probably condemned the “military-style horses” of the deputies. The only difference is that they did not have social media and a bunch of mindless followers parroting their fear in a deafening echo-chamber.
Cops don’t offer a fair fight. We always want the advantage while learning and reacting to every mistake. Sometimes the lesson learned is that we need more firepower, as in the case of the Hollywood shootout in 1997 with armored and suicidal rifle-firing bank robbers. An armored vehicle would have also come in handy. We’re not going to apologize for wanting to be safe. Open your eyes and see how dissociated people are from each other and how the violence that occurs is more brutal than ever. Common fistfights of the past have become brutal beat-downs that often end in murder.
So why should the Federal Government and military be the only ones to have heavy fire power? How do the fantasies of state secessions, revolution, and civil war play out when local communities are reduced to small arms? If a revolution erupted, do you really think that your neighbor, blue collared Officer Smith, would zig zag his way down to the local police station to gear up and join a tyrannical government army? No, he’ll be fighting next to you because his interests are in his community and his family.
Tick-Tock I’m not sure if the events in Ferguson will change anything in the long run, but it certainly exposed the ever-growing confusion in America. Cops in America have a watchful eye on Ferguson as black supremacists along with the local community unjustly rally against their brothers. As they watch city and police leaders cave to political pressure, while the rest of America condemns the camouflage uniforms officers wore while combating violent unrest, it should be no surprise when good cops quit. Wouldn’t you?
If things continue as they have, it won’t be the revolution you fantasize about. It won’t be freedom-loving patriots rising up against a tyrant. It will be giant, collective special interest groups rising up against you. Their armies will be massive and violent because the immune system designed to control them will have withered away after years of your deconstruction and condemnation. And you will have thought you were sticking it to the man.
Quote of the Times;
When cynical leaders engage in wars, thinking to unite the people behind them, they tend to forget that this works when the people are, in fact, a people. A single people, a nation. Otherwise, the stresses of war tend to fracture countries on their ethnic and ideological divides. Once an identifiable Anglo-Saxon Christian nation possessed of a unique transnational ideology, the USA is no longer a nation in any meaningful sense of the word except for lines on a political map.
Link of the Times;
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