Wife: What do you mean by coming home half drunk?

Husband: It's not my fault...  I ran out of money.

*.*

Q. How many men does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Five, one to force it with a hammer and four to take him to the emergency room.

*.*

Several days ago as I left a meeting at our church, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized, I must have left them in the car. Frantically I headed for the parking lot. My wife, Diane, has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. Her theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the doors of the church, I came to a terrifying conclusion. Her theory was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately call the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then, when I became composed and got up my nerve, I made the most difficult call of all, “Honey,” I stammered. I always call her “honey” in times like these. “I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen.”

There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard Diane’s voice, “Ken,” she barked, “I dropped you off!”

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.”

Diane retorted, “I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car!”

*.*

Attendance call on the first day back to school in Detroit.

The teacher began calling out the names of the pupils:

“Mustafa Al Eih Zeri?”            “Here.”

“Achmed El Kabul?”               “Here.”

“Fatima Al Hayek? “               “Here.”

“Ali Abdul Olmi?”                  “Here.”

“Mohammed Bin Kadir?”         “Here.”

“Ali Son al Len”                       Silence in the classroom.

“Ali Son al Len” Continued silence as everyone looked around the room.

She repeated, “Is there any child here called Ali Son al Len?”

A girl arose and said, “Sorry teacher. I think that's me. It's pronounced Alison Allen.”

*.*

Headlines from the Year 2059

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in Mexifornia.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. 

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules any punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches with only 5 illegitimate children.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2060.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Issue of the Times;
The Next Fifty Years Of Race And Culture In America by Athlone McGinnis

Humanity has come a long way in a very short time. When one takes a moment to consider just how much has changed in our world within the last 50 years alone (a very small amount of time in the grand scheme of things), it isn’t difficult to be impressed by the sheer degree of change that has taken place.In 1964, for example, the age of legal, state-sanctioned racial segregation in the USA was only just being brought to an end. The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics was still a global superpower. The last baby boomers were still being born. Human spaceflight was merely 3 years old.

Fast forward to the present day. The USSR is dead, baby boomers are beginning to retire en masse, we have semi-permanent research platforms in orbit, and the American president is black.

What will the USA and the rest of our world look like in another 50 years? I have a few predictions.

1. Enhanced Racial Tensions in the USA The age of the minority-majority is coming very soon. The USA has always been a predominantly white nation. Demographers estimate that this will change during the early 2040′s thanks to low white fertility rates and extensive immigration. By 2064, this nation will have possibly been majority non-white for almost a generation. Most of these non-whites will be hispanic, though the black and Asian populations will grow significantly as well. That in and of itself is going to bring a big difference in perspective within this society.

Many whites do not feel entirely comfortable with the fact that they may soon be outnumbered in a land that was once undoubtedly their own, and they’re not going to ride quietly into the sunset as the social and political consequences of this demographic shift make themselves apparent. You will see the pushback in politics as demographic shifts begin to frame policy debates and party lines become increasingly racially defined, and with regard to population dynamics as white flight accelerates and the level of segregation increases (fortifying a dwindling number of white communities and increasing the number of minority-dominated areas).

Many observers assumed that the rise of Obama signaled a positive shift in the nature of America’s race relations and the beginning of a truly “post-racial America.” If America could finally tolerate a black man in its highest office, they reasoned, surely they would follow through with more positive views of and harmonious relations with their fellow Americans of all backgrounds.

Available evidence suggests that this view was optimistic, as Mark Potok noted in the New York Times just under a year ago:

Have race relations worsened since Obama was elected? The best data, two polls commissioned by The Associated Press, suggest the answer is yes. The number of Americans with “explicit anti-black attitudes” rose from 48 percent in 2008 to 51 percent in 2012, while implicit racist attitudes went from 49 percent to 56 percent. Another set of A.P. polls showed anti-Latino attitudes had climbed between 2011 and 2012.

Other evidence supports the A.P. findings. According to counts by the Southern Poverty Law Center, the number of hate groups in America rose from 926 in 2008 to 1,007 in 2012, while other types of radical-right groups rose much faster.

Potok goes on to argue that there is still potential for improvement, but I’m simply not seeing much room for optimism. The melting pot is not coming, and recent data is only adding further confirmation of this:

Public attitudes about race relations have plummeted since the historic election of President Barack Obama, according to a new poll from NBC News and the Wall Street Journal.

Only 52 percent of whites and 38 percent of blacks have a favorable opinion of race relations in the country, according to the poll, which has tracked race relations since 1994 and was conducted in mid-July by Hart Research Associations and Public Opinion Strategies.

That’s a sharp drop from the beginning of Obama’s first term, when 79 percent of whites and 63 percent of blacks held a favorable view of American race relations.

And just this month:

Nearly 9 in 10 people say race relations in the United States have not improved under President Obama, according to a new poll.

Obama did not bring “the melting pot” together; on the contrary, Americans of different ethnicities are only growing further apart, and there is little reason to suspect that this trend will not continue.

2. Increased Religiosity and Conservatism Expect more religiosity and conservatism overall. This is a function of demography. Among whites, conservatives are rapidly outbreeding their more secular counterparts, and the outflow from these ideologies to more secular trains of thought is simply not keeping up (apples are not falling far from their trees). The majority of white children being born today are being born in conservative households and often are raised with religious values.

Those chickens are going to come home to roost within the coming 20, 30, and 40 years as liberal whites continue to decline as a percentage of their population. Combine this phenomenon with a non-white majority (non-whites being generally more religious and socially conservative than whites), and you’re going to see a significantly more conservative America during this century. Demographic weight is going to tip the balance in the culture wars to the more conservative side, and hot-button issues like abortion are going to be in the cross fire.

Some of the more progressive victories won during these recent culture wars (I include the gender wars among these) may be seriously challenged. Those on the left already lament the rollback of many progressive victories in recent years (ex: growing legislative war on birth control at the state level), but demographic realities will ensure that the assault is far from over.

3. The Recovery of American Industry This prediction is more tenuous, but I foresee a positive outlook for American industry as labor costs in traditional destinations for outsourcing (e.g. China) begin to rise and erode the advantage they once enjoyed. Europe’s demographic issues will also benefit us by raising labor costs, and incentivizing some corporations (e.g. Mercedes) to move operations to the United States, a massive market that will maintain a much younger and cheaper (yet still highly capable) workforce.

America’s demographic strength will help it remain economically powerful well into the current century. Many of its competitors on the international economic stage are staring demographic crises directly in the face—they have very low birth rates and rapidly aging populations. The USA will be in a much better position to weather the entitlement storm brought on by the baby-boomers than Europe and even China, thanks to its higher fertility rates, younger population, and strong ability to attract young and talented immigrants from across the planet.

We may never see 1950’s-style prosperity here again, but I still think that there will be better times in America’s future. The current state of affairs is not, in my estimation, a permanent one.

4. The Marginalization of Fat Acceptance Americans will get thinner. Awareness of the negative consequences brought by obesity is spreading rapidly, and has gone far enough already to constitute common knowledge. The discussion and promotion of anti-obesity measures has remained outside the realm of political incorrectness, and I predict that increasing awareness of the dangers associated with obesity will only enhance this reality. Add to this the possible arrival of several medical procedures capable of rapidly limiting obesity by the middle of the century, and I expect the anti-obesity campaign to ramp up significantly.

I see some parallels between our current cultural tangle with obesity and the one our parents dealt with when it came to smoking. Like smoking, obesity is going to become increasingly less of a tolerable social norm. The fat-acceptance movement, in my estimation, has no hope in the long term.

5. A Stagnant China China will not be a superpower by 2064. Instead, it will be an aging nation with a stagnant (or even negative) economic growth rate, similar to its European counterparts today. It will remain a great power, but it will not occupy the role that the USA currently fills. Demographics will ensure this—low fertility rates will accelerate population aging and decline (along with the skills shortages and high labor costs that will accompany it), and imbalanced gender ratios will create legions of young, troublesome men with nothing to lose. China will get old before it gets rich.

What are your perspective on the next half century ahead of us?

Quote of the Times;
“In the absence of the gold standard, there is no way to protect savings from confiscation through inflation. ... This is the shabby secret of the welfare statists' tirades against gold. Deficit spending is simply a scheme for the confiscation of wealth. Gold stands in the way of this insidious process. It stands as a protector of property rights. If one grasps this, one has no difficulty in understanding the statists' antagonism toward the gold standard.” - Greenspan

Link of the Times;
http://www.morganverkamp.com/august-27-2014-press-release-statement-of-william-w-thompson-ph-d-regarding-the-2004-article-examining-the-possibility-of-a-relationship-between-mmr-vaccine-and-autism/

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James "Jim" Whitey, the head gardener at the White House, was dismissed today after 31 years of loyal service to many US Presidents and First Ladies.

In an exclusive interview outside the back gate of the Presidential Residence, the 64-year old Mr. Whitey, proclaimed his innocence and strongly condemned his firing. "It all happened so fast. I'm still in a daze," said the bewildered Whitey.  "All I know is, I was getting ready to weed the rose bed outside the Oval Office window like I do every  week.  I called out to my assistants, "Has anyone seen the spade and the hoe?" and the next thing I knew, the Secret Service was hauling my ass off the property.      

*.*

CARROLLTON, TX -- In a bold marketing move, TGI Friday's will abandon their conventional one-day-a-week operating schedule, and adopt a more aggressive seven-day format, a spokesman said.

"We plan to roll this out slowly," said Bob Tundy, "to make sure we do this right and don't miss any days."

Tundy said the company learned a lot from the economically disastrous Friday's spin-off restaurant "TGI Leap Year's."

*.*

Tips to improve your life..

SINGLE men Convince people that you have a girlfriend by standing outside La Senza with several bags of shopping, looking at your watch and occasionally glancing inside.

DIABOLISTS For the full effect when photographing Satan, make sure to switch off your camera's red-eye reduction feature.

A POST-IT note stuck beneath the nose is an ideal deterrent to lip-readers.

*.*

My girlfriend told me I have a body of a god....

....Then I found out she is a Buddhist.

*.*

After weeks of getting the cold shoulder from his wife, the unhappy husband finally confronted her, "Admit it, Linda, the only reason you married me is because my grandfather left me $10 million."

She shot back, "Don't be ridiculous, I don't care who left it to you."

Issue of the Times;
This Constitution Day, Try Something New: Ignore the Feds! by Michael Boldin

There’s plenty of federal holidays for Americans to celebrate.  On July 4th, there’s independence from King George’s England.  On the first Monday in September, a holiday was dedicated to the “social and economic achievements of American workers.”  Other days throughout the year celebrate autumn harvest, soldiers who died in the civil war and even a person who sailed to this continent nearly three centuries before the country was “founded.”

When there’s no federally-sanctioned holiday to call upon, protesters and activists across the political spectrum often pick “important” dates to schedule events to bring attention to their cause.  We’ve seen protests on Tax Day, Independence Day, May Day, Earth Day, and more.  And, just last week, we saw great importance placed on a day that doesn’t even have a letter in its name, 9/12.

But nowhere to be found on these great lists of “federal holidays” or “protest days” is a celebration of the document that defined the principles of liberty that this country was supposedly founded upon – the Constitution.

LIMITING POWER

The Constitution was signed on September 17, 1787, and every year that date passes by with hardly a sound.  Sure, now that it’s considered a day of “federal observance” you’ll find government schools around the country including it in their lesson plans.  But these discussions generally focus on “Constitution Trivia” instead of what’s really important. While it may be good to educate our young on how many years a Senator serves, or how Supreme Court justices are appointed, it’s not enough.  Seriously lacking in the public discourse is the actual purpose of the Constitution – its underlying principles.

When the Constitution was being considered for ratification, there was strong opposition from famous American figures that included George Mason and Patrick Henry. One major reason for this was a fear of too much power.  The founding generation spent their lives toiling under a tyranny - a government without limits.  But, when the Constitution was written, it was done to codify in law that the powers of government would be limited to those which had been delegated to it.  The entire system was created under the principle of popular sovereignty - that ‘We the People of the Several States’ created the government, and all powers not delegated to it, were retained.

But that’s not something you’re likely to hear from politicians in Washington DC, political pundits, schools, or just about anywhere else.  It’s generally not in their interest, either.  If politicians and their backers were promoting such crazy ideas as “originalism” and “limited government” they’d never be able to convince you that they have the power to tell you what kind of health care plan you’ll be getting, how big your toilet can be, what kind of plants you’re allowed to grow, where you’re allowed to exercise your “right” to free speech, whom you can buy and sell from, and even when you must send your children to die for them.

MORE OF THE SAME

Throughout history, even kings and queens have often failed to survive such acts of hubris; but, in “free” America, the major parties that produce all the presidents continue to receive approval through tens of millions of votes.  And where has that gotten people?

Well, let’s take a look at some major issues.

If you were opposed to war in the Bush administration, you’ve still got the same wars and threats of wars under Obama.

If you were opposed to national health care under Clinton, you got a massive expansion of government health care under George Bush, which laid the groundwork for an even bigger expansion under Obama.

If you didn’t like the federal government passing the Patriot Act without even reading it, you’re still getting the same failure to read today.

On the other hand, if you liked the Bush bailouts, you’ve gotta love the ones that Obama has given you!

No matter what side of the political aisle you sit on, the federal government is not your friend.  It’s not a friend to the Constitution, and it’s certainly no friend to your liberty.  For years and years…and years, people have yelled “vote the bums out!”  “Call Congress now!”  “March on DC!”  But, in the long run, little to none of this actually works.

If you oppose this national health care plan, they’ll give you that one.  If you oppose one war, you’ll get another one. If you oppose today’s bailout, they’ll find a different one tomorrow.  Decade in and decade out, the government keeps growing, and your liberty keeps shrinking.  And it doesn’t matter if the person in charge is named Obama, or Bush, or Reagan, or Clinton.

The bottom line?  Looking to the federal government – whether it’s though elections, or protests, or lawsuits, or rallies – is a failed strategy.   So how about trying something new?

A DIFFERENT PATH: NULLIFICATION

This year, for example, seven states have passed sovereignty resolutions under the 10th Amendment to the Constitution. Two states passed laws nullifying some federal firearms regulations. Three states are considering constitutional amendments allowing residents to effectively opt-out of any future national health care plan. And, thirteen states now have Medical Marijuana laws in direct opposition to federal laws.

In Jeffersonian-speak, this all falls under the banner of “nullification.”  When a state ‘nullifies’ a federal law, it is proclaiming that the law in question is void and inoperative, or ‘non-effective,’ within the boundaries of that state; or, in other words, not a law as far as that state is concerned.

While some in government and the media would like to paint this essential tool for resisting federal tyranny as solely aligned with the South in the War Between the States - and nothing more, they’re missing some essential history.  It’s been used in efforts to advance free speech, help runaway slaves, resist high taxes and more.

And recently, the Bush-Era Real ID Act is now virtually dead in the water, not due to elections or rallies, or calls to Congress.  In the past two years, approximately two dozen states simply refused to implement the law.  The result?  It’s effectively null and void.  While the Obama administration would like to revive it under a different name, the reality is still there – with massive state-level resistance, the federal government can be pushed back inside its constitutional box.  Issue by issue, law by law, the best way to change the federal government is by ignoring it.

Even better, this is no single-issue movement.  Legislators in over 20 states are considering legislation to nullify some federal gun laws, and another 10 are looking at ways to nullify national health care.  15 states are weighing legislation or ballot initiatives that could turn them into medical marijuana states by next year, and activists in over a dozen states have been pushing for legislation that would require their governors to bring national guard troops home from Iraq and elsewhere.

Over the years, wise men and women warned us that the Constitution would never enforce itself.  I believe it’s time for people to recognize this as fact, and bring that enforcement closer to home.

So whether you’re on the left, or on the right, or even somewhere in the middle, the path to freedom, the path to your political goals lies not in Washington D.C.  Instead, it lies in Madison, and Jefferson (City)…and other state capitols around the country.

So this Constitution Day take a new pledge.  Ignore and nullify the federal government.  It’s as worthless as it is dangerous.

Quote of the Times;
“When a government fails to protect justice it is the responsibility of the people to rise up and change the guard, change the regime. Those who fail to answer that call should be charged with patriotic treason.” – Belafonte

Link of the Times;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5-51PfwI3M#t=96

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"New study shows people with panic disorders respond poorly to being locked in underwater elevators."

*.*

Things Philosophy Students Are Tired Of Hearing

1. “Philosophy. What’s that then?”

Seriously?

2. “Oh, so it’s just thinking about stuff?”

Yep. Sure. You’ve absolutely nailed it. That is literally all it is.

3. “I like thinking.”

OK then.

4. “I guess I’m more spiritual than religious.”

OK.

5. “So you’ll be able to tell me: What does it all mean?”

What on earth makes you think I can tell you that?

6. “Do I exist?”

I DON’T KNOW.

7. “I’m a pretty logical person.”

That doesn’t mean what you think it means.

8. “That wasn’t really necessary, was it?”

Nope. That’s not what that means either.

9. “So if a tree fell and no one was there to hear it…”

Sure, just bear with me a moment while I sum up this intensely complicated area of philosophy that numerous books have been written about.

10. “So basically nothing matters, then.”

It matters to me that you SHUT UP.

11. “Do I have free will?”

Just read a book. Please. Just. Read. A. Book.

12. “I read some Nietzsche once.”

Yeah, same.

13. “Yeah, it’s basically like Occam’s razor.”

So you did GCSE RE? Good for you.

14. “So do you speak German?”

No. No, I don’t speak German.

15. “How’s the job search going?”

Yeah, really well, thanks. How about yours? You’re exactly on track? Achieving all of your goals? Living out your dreams? Hitting your targets? Yes? Good.

16. “Don’t you sometimes wish you’d done something more…practical?”

Every. Single. Day.

17. “But how will you earn money?”

Got any more intensely personal questions? I’m all ears.

*.*

We had a power  failure at my house this afternoon and my PC, laptop, TV, DVD, iPad &  my new surround sound music system were all shut down. Then I  discovered that my iPhone battery was flat, and to top it off it was  raining outside, so I couldn't play golf.

I went into the kitchen  to make coffee, and then I remembered that this also needs power, so I  talked with my wife for a few hours. She seems like a nice  person.

*.*

Oneliners:

I bet kangaroos get drunk and find some ridiculous shit in their pouches in the morning.

Threesomes are so awkward when you’re the only one conscious.

Depressed?  Keep your chin up cuz when it’s down it looks like there’s two of them, which is gross.

If you have a parrot and you don’t teach it to say, “Help, they’ve turned my into a parrot”, you are wasting everybody’s time.

They were called Jumpolines until your Mom got on one.

I bet Arnold Schwarzenegger watches ‘how to catch a predator’ like “Nope, that’s not how AT ALL!”

I envy Bigfoot.  My Dad believes in him.

This girl at the bar thinks that sci-fi and fantasy are the same genre!  Good luck getting into MY pants, loser!

Nothing screams “gay” like my stepdad at me.

If you’re purchasing a Dollar Store pregnancy test, I think we both know you can’t afford a positive.

Smuggling is the cutest sounding felony.

If you want to know what a guy’s O face looks like, ask him to play air guitar.

You’d think that the guy in charge of putting pepperoni on frozen pizzas would’ve been up for a performance review by now.

I’m at the point in my marriage where it takes me a few minutes after I wake up to remember if we’re mad at each other or not.

Let’s hope the zombie apocalypse doesn’t start in Kenya because there is no way any of us can outrun those fuckers.

Some people are so quick to judge.  I always notice this right away.

I want to be “Y’know, people aren’t so bad drunk, not “Kurt Cobain was killed by the Illuminati” drunk.

So You Think You Can Fly a Plane would be a funny show.

When I see a bruised apple at the market, I give it a soft hug and whisper, “Who did this to you?”

A Laser Jet sounds like the coolest thing of all time ever, but it’s not, it’s a fucking printer.

You should date black guys.  How girls tell each other they’re fat.

So my brother was all “You’re adopted!” and I was all “OMG are you flirting with me?!?” and then everything got weird.

The people on this bus just need to relax and let me tickle them.

Have the crips ever tried releasing bulls into blood territory?  Seems like that would be super effective.

“You can masturbate freely after your spouse falls asleep” – Subtext of jumping on a mattress without spilling a glass of wine.

Is it okay to say “Owned!” to black people?

Just saw my parents having sex.  That’s the last time I go on that website.

Every elevator should have the 2 button replaced with a “Congratulations, fatass.”

A black guy should buy all the Cracker Barrel restaurants and not change the name.

Any bag of M&M’s is Family Size when you’re an orphan.

There’s really no way of knowing whether a pile of laundry used to be a Jedi.

Wait, why the fuck did Frogger die when he jumped into the water?

*.*

Dear Algebra,

Stop asking us to find your X.  She’s not coming back.

But Y?

Issue of the Times;
The Ferguson Riots Show Why Good Cops Will Quit

Cops have been risking their lives for many years now with little appreciation from the communities they serve. Being underappreciated has always been acceptable and has never stopped any of us from going to work every day. But as explained in my previous article, “Why Americans Should Reconsider Their Contempt for Today’s Police” lack of appreciation is turning into contempt and condemnation. Unreasonable contempt and condemnation from the community an officer serves will cause him to turn in his uniform.  I think Ferguson will be a test to see how cops react, and could prove to be the beginning of the end for good cops.

Mike Brown was branded an “unarmed black teenager” from the very beginning.  As the media covered the story, the naive American public had little choice but to imagine poor little Mike walking home from school, thrilled to get home and tell his mother that he got an “A” in science. And then again to tell his father when he got home from work.

When such an angel is imagined dead in the street, one cannot help but to picture the grotesque monster that gunned him down. The nameless, faceless officer was drawn up in every psychotic mind within this newly divided America. Every fringe painted their own specific and frightening image of the evil cop. The leftists and black supremacists only needed to draw the policeman as white, while the new right wing drew him as a militarized robot.  With that, a conceptual, inhuman monster emerged as a common enemy to opposing sides; all before any real information was known.

For days, nobody knew why the altercation even started between Mike Brown and the police. We still don’t even know all the facts surrounding the actual shooting other than initial reports that Mike Brown was inside the police car fighting with the officer in a struggle over the officer’s gun.

Then recently we learned that Mike Brown committed a strong-arm robbery at a local store before being stopped by police. An officer happened to stop Mike shortly after for walking in the middle of the street (A side note: You might consider a cop addressing jaywalking as harassment, but it is common for inner city youth to walk in the street to disrupt traffic and look for a fight with people who challenge them). It is apparent from the store footage that Mike Brown doesn’t mind a fight, and I’m sure he thought he was being stopped for robbing that store just minutes prior, and was already preparing for another fight in order to avoid going to jail.

Mike Brown thought he could just take things that were not his, and use violence against property owners that tried to stop him. When stopped by the police, he decided to attack the officer and to try to take his gun. As a result, Mike ended up dead, but thankfully the officer that was doing his job is ok, right?  Thank God we have guys like him to maintain law and order, correct? Instead, Ferguson burns while some people exclaim racism and cry that they are subject to a police state.

Reaction The fringes went into full gear to exploit the incident to further their agendas. Black supremacists marched behind the mask of justice, while the confused new right wing offered indirect social media support. Freedom loving, second amendment preservers with CCW permits who would have shot Mike Brown in the same situation might have even joined the rioters if they could—just for that chance to hurt a cop and symbolically get revenge against a system that has forsaken them.

If you are a critical thinker, consider if your contempt for the police is instrumented by leftists after all. You’re compelled to sit idly by while cops that represent law and order are run over in the streets, ultimately standing down in the end, leaving the amount of property damage and carnage up to the emotion and will of unjust rioters and racial supremacists. Ferguson will ripple from city to city, if only as a reminder to certain groups of what they can get away with. You feel some sort of victory as you mistake your friends as enemies and your enemies as friends.

In “The Death of a Nation,” a book written in 1968 by John A. Stormer about communist infiltration in America and how to fight it, a few suggestions are offered:

“Support your local police. Determine whether they have authority to put down trouble when it starts.  Have they been hamstrung by political restrictions as police in Detroit, Newark, and other cities have been?  Expose communist efforts to undermine confidence in local police forces.”

Is there even a single city left that isn’t “hamstrung by political restrictions?”
He goes on to quote J. Edgar Hoover:

“…for years it has been communist policy to charge ‘police brutality’ in a calculated campaign to discredit law enforcement and to accentuate racial issues.  The riots and disorders of the past three years clearly highlight the success of this communist smear campaign in popularizing the cry of ‘police brutality’ to a point where it has been accepted by many individuals having no affiliation with or sympathy for the communist movement.”

Inadvertently supporting radical leftists by condemning law enforcement, which is the immune system that is tasked with fighting their disease, is suicide. It is fantasy to imagine the criminal rioters in Ferguson as freedom-loving Americans that have been wronged, and supporting them is taking on the role of the left’s “useful idiot.” I know that officer did not execute Mike Brown like they contend. In the end, we may see some issues of poor tactics or bad decisions, but we all know that Mike Brown was not just walking home from school, and he was not the “gentle giant” that the media needed to convince the public he was in the beginning to get emotions flared up.

Militarized or modern? The new right wing wrongly concludes that leftists want strong local police forces to enforce <insert leftist agenda here>, but they actually don’t. Not yet. The left probably will not support strong police agencies until they are centralized by disbanding local agencies into large metropolitan ones, which is slowly happening under the guise of budget deficits. Actually, the left often uses political correctness and activism to weaken local police departments that have decent control over their criminal elements.

I’ve been trying to convey in my previous articles that local cops are still very local. Even if they don’t live in the ghetto that they patrol, there’s a good chance they grew up there or nearby and still have roots within. There is room for improvement via self-evaluation necessary from cops as noted in my last article, but they still have their hearts in the right place; they can be swayed and won over with your support, or at least with a lack of your condemnation. Leftists and racial supremacists cannot be won over.

Does the fact that the mainstream media condemns the “militarized police” say anything? Rand Paul recently used Ferguson as an opportunity to take measures to “de-militarize the police.” What exactly is a militarized cop anyway? Weapons and tactics have always evolved. Were the police militarized when they transitioned from revolvers to semi-automatic pistols? Or when they began wearing bulletproof vests? I wonder if some old-timer once condemned those dastardly constables and their unnecessary automobiles that they were always zooming around in while fondly thinking of the simpler times when lawmen rode horses. Even before that, someone probably condemned the “military-style horses” of the deputies. The only difference is that they did not have social media and a bunch of mindless followers parroting their fear in a deafening echo-chamber.

Cops don’t offer a fair fight. We always want the advantage while learning and reacting to every mistake. Sometimes the lesson learned is that we need more firepower, as in the case of the Hollywood shootout in 1997 with armored and suicidal rifle-firing bank robbers. An armored vehicle would have also come in handy. We’re not going to apologize for wanting to be safe. Open your eyes and see how dissociated people are from each other and how the violence that occurs is more brutal than ever. Common fistfights of the past have become brutal beat-downs that often end in murder.

So why should the Federal Government and military be the only ones to have heavy fire power? How do the fantasies of state secessions, revolution, and civil war play out when local communities are reduced to small arms? If a revolution erupted, do you really think that your neighbor, blue collared Officer Smith, would zig zag his way down to the local police station to gear up and join a tyrannical government army? No, he’ll be fighting next to you because his interests are in his community and his family.

Tick-Tock I’m not sure if the events in Ferguson will change anything in the long run, but it certainly exposed the ever-growing confusion in America. Cops in America have a watchful eye on Ferguson as black supremacists along with the local community unjustly rally against their brothers. As they watch city and police leaders cave to political pressure, while the rest of America condemns the camouflage uniforms officers wore while combating violent unrest, it should be no surprise when good cops quit. Wouldn’t you?

If things continue as they have, it won’t be the revolution you fantasize about. It won’t be freedom-loving patriots rising up against a tyrant. It will be giant, collective special interest groups rising up against you. Their armies will be massive and violent because the immune system designed to control them will have withered away after years of your deconstruction and condemnation. And you will have thought you were sticking it to the man.

Quote of the Times;
When cynical leaders engage in wars, thinking to unite the people behind them, they tend to forget that this works when the people are, in fact, a people. A single people, a nation. Otherwise, the stresses of war tend to fracture countries on their ethnic and ideological divides. Once an identifiable Anglo-Saxon Christian nation possessed of a unique transnational ideology, the USA is no longer a nation in any meaningful sense of the word except for lines on a political map.

Link of the Times;
http://www.ijreview.com/2014/08/169519-leading-riots-ferguson-residences-arrested-provide-interesting-clues/

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Historians believe that Hitler did in fact do it for a Klondike bar.

*.*

Washington, DC - Local police reported that some individual attempted to "egg" Ted Bolser’s house last night.

An empty egg carton was recovered at the scene. Two eggs hit Mr. Bolser's house, 3 eggs went over his house and hit his neighbor's back door, 2 eggs hit the houses of each of his next door neighbors, and the remaining 3 eggs were found broken on the ground near the carton from where the individual threw them.

Detective Charles Aikins stated "Looking at what was hit, we are considering Robert Griffin III as the primary suspect."

*.*

If a dog was the teacher you would learn stuff like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.

Let others know when they've invaded your territory.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body. 

No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout..! run right back and make friends.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.

Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

*.*

Once my divorce was final, I went to the local Department of Motor Vehicles and asked to have my maiden name reinstated on my driver's license. "Will there be any change of address?" the clerk inquired.

"No," I replied.

"Oh, good," she said, clearly delighted. "You got the house."

*.*

A guy went to his travel agent and tried to book a two-week cruise for himself and his lady friend. The travel agent said that all the ships were booked up and reservations were very tight at that moment, but that he would see what he could do.

A couple of days later, the travel agent phoned and said he could get them onto a three-day cruise. The guy was disappointed that it was such a short cruise, but booked it . . . and went to the drugstore to buy Dramamines and three condoms.

The next day, the agent called back and reported that he now could book a five-day cruise. The guy said, "Great, I'll take it!"! and returned to the same pharmacy to buy two more Dramamines and two more condoms.

The following day, the travel agent called yet again, and said he was delighted that he could offer them bookings on an eight-day cruise.  The guy was elated and, and went back to the drugstore. He asked for three more Dramamine and three more condoms.

The pharmacist looked sympathetically at him and said, "Look, I'm not trying to pry.. but, if it makes you sick .. why do you keep doing it?"

Issue of the Times;
About half of kids' learning ability is in their DNA by Julia Rosen

You may think you’re better at reading than you are at math (or vice versa), but new research suggests you’re probably equally good (or bad) at both. The reason: The genes that determine a person’s ability to tackle one subject influence their aptitude at the other, accounting for about half of a person’s overall ability.

The study, published Tuesday in the journal Nature Communications, used nearly 1,500 pairs of 12-year-old twins to tease apart the effects of genetic inheritance and environmental variables on math and reading ability. Twin studies provide a clever way of assessing the balance of nature versus nurture.

“Twins are like a natural experiment,” said Robert Plomin, a psychologist at Kings College London who worked on the study. Identical twins share 100% of their DNA and fraternal twins share 50% (on average), but all siblings presumably experience similar degrees of parental attentiveness, economic opportunity and so on. Different pairs of twins, in contrast, grow up in unique environments.

The researchers administered a set of math and verbal tests to the children and then compared the performance of different sets of twins. They found that the twins’ scores  — no matter if they were high or low — were twice as similar among pairs of identical twins as among pairs of fraternal twins. The results indicated that approximately half of the children’s math and reading ability stemmed from their genetic makeup.

A complementary analysis of unrelated kids corroborated this conclusion — strangers with equivalent academic abilities shared genetic similarities.

What’s more, the genes responsible for math and reading ability appear to be numerous and interconnected, not specifically targeted toward one set of skills. These so-called “generalist genes” act in concert to determine a child’s aptitude across multiple disciplines.

“If you found genes for reading,” Plomin said, “you have over a 50% chance that those same genes would influence math.”

That’s not to say specialized brain circuits don’t exist for different tasks, said Timothy Bates, a psychologist at the University of Edinburgh who was not involved in the study.

“If those ‘squiggles on a page’ the young child encounters are math or prose, different brain systems, with different genes, are involved in learning to decode them,” he said. The new study just illustrates that these genes build on a more general foundation of learning ability, he said.

The finding that one’s propensities for math and reading go hand in hand may come as a surprise to many, but it shouldn’t. People often feel that they possess skills in only one area simply because they perform slightly worse in the other, Plomin said. But it’s all relative.

“You might think you’re a little less good at math, but compared to everybody in the world, you’re pretty good at math,” he said.

That’s great news for those who came out on top of the genetic lottery, but what about everyone else?

“We don’t want to pit nature vs. nurture,” Plomin said. “But for parents who still think kids are a blob of clay that you mold to be what you want them to be, I hope this data — and there’s tons of other data like this — will convince people to recognize and respect individual differences that are genetically driven.”

He sees parallels to obesity: People can no more control a genetic predisposition that causes them to struggle with arithmetic than they can control an inherited tendency to put on pounds. That doesn’t mean nothing can be done to bring those students up to par — it just might take more effort.

Plomin suggests individually tailored educational approaches could help, in which students could learn at different rates using different techniques, potentially assisted by the growing role of technology in the classroom. Finland consistently dominates international education rankings, and Plomin points to its strategy as a good example.

The Fins have decided to do “whatever it takes” to bring every child up to a minimum level of literacy and numeracy needed to survive in the modern world. In practice, this has meant reducing class sizes, trying alternative learning approaches, and spending hours outside of class with any student who needs it.

Plomin also points out that genes don’t predetermine performance. Appetite is just as important as aptitude, he said.

“The brilliant mathematician — that’s all they do for decades, they just think math and work on math,” Plomin said. “It’s not like it comes to them with a flash of inspiration. It’s really a long, long process of thinking about these things.”

The study results show that attitudes about learning are out of date and need to change, Bates said.

“Just as we no longer blame mothers for schizophrenia, we should be humble when blaming schools and parents for not every child learning as quickly as we'd desire,” he said. “The implications, I think, are that children really do differ at very deep levels in how easily they learn.”

Quote of the Times;
This is why it is so crucial that young people work. It provides them the economic libido they need to survive in the real world. We have evolved to derive pleasure from our accomplishments, no matter how small. The ones who don’t have this trait are extinct. By usurping this natural joy from our children we are denying them self-worth and that’s a form of child abuse. The only thing crueler than saddling a kid with debt and a useless degree is teaching him he’s too good for a shitty job. -  McInnes

Link of the Times;
http://timeglider.com/timeline/962856e2d593150e

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One of the British national daily newspapers is asking readers "what it means to be British?". Some of the emails are hilarious but this is one from a chap in Switzerland ...

"Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture & watch American shows on a Japanese TV.  And the most British thing of all?  Suspicion of anything foreign ".

*.*

Strong Sales Prove Americans Would Rather Die in a Chevrolet

DETROIT – Despite breaking industry records for safety recalls, General Motors this week announced monthly sales continue to rise, leading the nation’s No. 1 automaker to declare that more Americans would rather die in a new GM car than any other car in the world.

GM sold a market-leading 267,461 U.S. vehicles in June alone, and its yearly sales have surged past 1.5 million. At the same time, the company has recalled a record-smashing 29 million vehicles in 2014, including millions of cars with faulty ignition switches that have been blamed for more than 100 deaths. The conclusion, said company executives, is obvious.

“Numbers don’t lie, and the numbers are very clearly telling us that consumers prefer driving a new GM vehicle to life itself,” said General Motors CEO Mary Barra. “How else to explain that sales are up at the same time safety recalls are through the roof?

“Oh, and accidentally going ‘through the roof’ appears to be a problem with the 2015 Buick Enclave,” she added. “We’re recalling that one.”

Far from damaging its brands, defects are creating sales, said GM marketing vice president Craig Burley.

“With all the recalls, customers are coming back into dealers to get their cars fixed, seeing the new GM models and thinking, ‘Hmm, I could die in an electrical fire in my old Chevy Aveo, or I could die in this brand new Buick with faulty brakes,’” said Burley. “Obviously you choose the new GM. It’s a no brainer, really. In every sense of the term, ‘no brainer.’”

Given the trend, Barra said the company will now encourage dealers to promote recallable defects as factory-installed options during its July ‘Go Out in Style’ sales campaign.

“Right now you can lease a 2014 Chevrolet Corvette with alloy wheels, blind-spot monitors and defective side air bags for only $549 a month,” she said. “Or why not drive away in a new GMC Sierra with navigation, panoramic sunroof and faulty power steering, or a Cadillac CTS with dual exhausts, heated seats and inoperable windshield wipers? With so many options, we expect strong sales won’t stop anytime soon.”

“Oh, and ‘not being able to stop anytime soon’ is also a problem with the 2015 Chevy Silverado,” she added.

No matter which vehicle you choose, Barra promised all models will come with that intoxicating new GM car smell of leather, laminates, and liability.

*.*

"I'm fed up with the excuses women come up with to avoid having sex, like; "I'm tired, I'm washing my hair, I've got a headache, I'm your sister in law."

*.*

Spartan-Worshipping Marine Throws ‘Defective’ Son Off Cliff

CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — Military Police were called to base housing early Tuesday morning, after a Spartan-worshipping Marine threw his “defective” eight-year old son off a nearby cliff after his son was unable to carry a hoplite shield.

“I told the little helot to either come back with his shield or on it,” Captain Linus Kurgus shouted as he was being bundled into a police car. Kurgus has also been relieved of his command of Fox Company, 2nd Battalion 6th Marines, pending an investigation.

While Kurgus’ superiors have disavowed any prior knowledge of his aggressive behavior, sources say his obsession with the Spartans was well-known around Camp Lejeune.

While members of his unit say his command laughed off his demand for a no-shave chit to grow a beard, they grew more concerned after he was arrested for showing up to a Spartan Race completely naked, save his tunic.

His commanding officer, Lt. Col. Lyle Sander, later issued him a formal rebuke after discovering that Kurgus was ignoring required Marine Corps training and instead concentrating on teaching his company how to properly march in a phalanx.

The battalion’s Family Readiness Officer also reported being cornered in her office by Kurgus, who described an “outlandish plan” to enslave all his neighbors in nearby Jacksonville and force them to support the battalion by farming.

According to his family, Kurgus  knew he wanted to be a Spartan ever since he first saw the movie The 300 Spartans, about the Battle of Thermopylae, as a small boy. Shortly after, he was banned from his Boy Scout troop after nearly beating several boys to death.

*.*

Recently, I bought a cartridge for my printer. It came in a box mounted on a card and wrapped in plastic. When I took it apart, I found that the printer cartridge itself was actually quite small, but they made the packaging unnecessarily large to make it harder to steal and to make the customer feel better about the high price.

I pointed this out to my wife and mentioned how my weight gain over the years of our marriage should have the same effect: It made me seem more valuable and also made me harder for other women to steal.

She’s still laughing.

Issue of the Times;
Attacking Achievement by Thomas Sowell

New York’s mayor, Bill de Blasio, like so many others who call themselves “progressive,” is gung-ho to solve social problems. In fact, he is currently on a crusade to solve an educational problem that doesn’t exist, even though there are plenty of other educational problems that definitely do exist.

The non-existent problem is the use of tests to determine who gets admitted to the city’s three most outstanding public high schools — Stuyvesant, Bronx Science and Brooklyn Tech. These admissions tests have been used for generations, and the students in these schools have had spectacular achievements for generations.

These achievements include many Westinghouse Science awards, Intel Science awards and — in later life — Pulitzer Prizes and multiple Nobel Prizes. Graduates of Bronx Science alone have gone on to win five Nobel Prizes in physics alone. There are Nobel Prize winners from Stuyvesant and Brooklyn Tech as well.

“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” is a motto that Mayor de Blasio and many other activist politicians pay no attention to. He is also out to curtail charter schools, which include schools that have achieved outstanding education results for poor minority students, who cannot get even adequate results in all too many of the other public schools.

What is wrong with charter schools and with elite high schools like Stuyvesant, Bronx Science and Brooklyn Tech? Despite their educational achievements, they have political problems.

The biggest political problem is that the teachers’ unions don’t like them — and the teachers’ unions are the 800-pound gorilla among the special interests in Bill de Blasio’s Democratic Party.

The next biggest political problem is that people who don’t pass the tests for the elite public high schools don’t want to have to pass tests to get in.

Their politicians have been denouncing these admissions tests for decades, and so have various other ethnic community “leaders.” These include spokesmen for “civil rights” organizations, who think their civil rights include getting into these elite schools, whether they qualify or not.

Finally, there are the intelligentsia, who all too often equate achievement with privilege.

In times past, such people called Stuyvesant “a free prep school for Jews” and “a privileged little ivory tower.”

That was clever, but cleverness is not wisdom. Back in those days, Jewish youngsters were over-represented among the students at all three elite public high schools. Today it is Asian students who are a majority at those same schools — more than twice as many Asians as whites in all three schools.

Black and Hispanic students are rare at all three elite public high schools, and becoming rarer.

Many among the intelligentsia and politicians express astonishment that the ethnic makeup of these schools is so different from the demographic makeup of the city.

But such differences between groups are common in countries around the world. But in each country there are people who say that it is strange — and demand a “solution” to this “problem.”

In Malaysia, for example, before group quotas were established at the country’s universities, students from the Chinese minority earned more than 400 engineering degrees in the 1960s, while students from the Malay majority earned just 4.

When a university was established in 19th century Romania, there were more German students than Romanian students, and most of the professors were German. The same was true for most of the 19th century when a university was established in Estonia.

In none of these cases did the group that was over-represented have any power to discriminate against groups that were under-represented.

If racism is the reason why there are so few blacks in Stuyvesant High School, why were blacks a far higher proportion in Stuyvesant in earlier times, as far back as 1938? Was there less racism in 1938? Was there less poverty among blacks in 1938?

We know that there were far fewer black children raised in single-parent homes back then and there was far less social degeneracy represented by things like gangsta rap. If Mayor de Blasio wants to solve real problems, let him take these on.

Quote of the Times;
"Failure is success if we learn from it." - Forbes

Link of the Times;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VR-lAGj_dlQ#t=84

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A very young couple exhibiting signs of extreme nervousness timidly approached the check-in desk of a large Manhattan hotel.

"Good evening, sir," said the official behind the desk, favoring the young man with a perceptive wink. "Suite 16?"

"Oh, no!" the young man responded quickly. "She's eighteen."

*.*

A counsellor was helping his kids put their stuff away on their first morning in Summer Camp. He was surprised to see one of the youngsters had an umbrella. The counsellor asked, "Why did you bring an umbrella to camp?"

The kid answered, "Did you ever have a mother?"

*.*

An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of cannibals. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself, "Oh God, I'm screwed."

The sky darkens and a voice booms out, "No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you."

So with the stone he bashes the life out of the chief.

Standing above the lifeless body, breathing heavily looking at 100 angry natives...

The voice booms out again, "Okay... NOW you're screwed."

*.*

A kid asks his mom, Mama, what’s a democracy?

Well, Son, that be when white folks work every day so us po’ folks can get all our benefits.

But Mama, don’t the white folk get mad about that?

They sho do, son.  They sho do.  And that’s called racism.

*.*

A little old lady called 911. When the operator answered she yelled, "Help, send the police to my house right away! There's a damn Republican on my front porch and he's playing with himself."

"What?" the operator exclaimed!

"I said there is a damn Republican on my front porch playing with himself and he's weird; I don't know him and I'm afraid! Please send the police!" the little old lady repeated.

"Well, now, how do you know he's a Republican???"

"Because, you damn fool, if he were a Democrat, he'd be screwing somebody!"

Issue of the Times;
How My School’s Annual Baseball Game Was Destroyed by ak86

Our School’s Tradition

I remember when I was a kid, my school used to host an annual intramural baseball game. It was a huge event, which we the students all called the “Annual Baseball Game,” or simply, the Game. Every year, the best players from the year before picked the teams, and of course, the team captains always went on to pick the next best kids in line, because they wanted to win.

It was always a killer game. Like clockwork, every year the entire student body would make their way out past the black top to the baseball diamond, lunch boxes and Capri Suns in hand, anxious parents trailing a few yards behind.

Even kids from the other school across town, who were our rivals, used to sneak over the school’s fence to watch, and you could see the look of trepidation on their faces, since those kids on the field slamming homers and working like a precise, well-oiled machine to get out after out after out were exactly the ones they’d be playing in the upcoming city-wide All Star Game later in the year.

Even though I was never good enough to get picked for the team, I felt a tremendous sense of pride just watching the other kids play. It made me happy. That was my school. Every kid playing on that field, whether offense or defense, deserved to be there because they were the best.

We were the best.

The New Rules

Then one day, a few of the students who never got picked to play in the Annual Baseball Game complained that they felt left out. Their feelings were hurt, they said; they wanted to play, too; it wasn’t fair, why should only the athletic kids get to play?

So the yard narcs made a new rule that any student who wanted to play was guaranteed a spot on the team. Suddenly, the overwhelming flood of new players made picking teams impossible. The team captains threatened to quit.

The principal herself was called to settle the issue. The principal’s solution was to institute a lottery system, drawing the names of any student who wanted to play in the game from a hat to make sure the choosing was random, and therefore, fair. The choosing process was taken completely out of the team captains’ hands.

The game that year was a mess. Balls were dropped. Balls flew down centerfield without being caught by the right mitt. It didn’t look anything remotely like what a baseball game should. The team captains spent the whole hour screaming their heads off for their teams to get it right, but the new players—the ones who had demanded so vociferously that they be allowed to play—simply didn’t know what to do.

Where I had always felt a great sense of pride watching my school’s best and brightest kick ass, or get their asses kicked honorably in the name of Us, I suddenly felt something else. I felt ashamed. And I knew the rest of the audience did, too, because by the halfway point, most of the crowd had sauntered away from the bleachers, back to the other parts of the playground or indoors to play POGs or Magic cards. The only people left watching to the very end were the parents of the kids playing.

Meanwhile, our rivals from across town smirked and whispered amongst themselves, where they watched far away smoking cigarettes and leaning against the back fence of the school, their gleeful faces bright and confident that they would have this year’s All Star Game in the bag.

And they did. We got crushed that year. And the parents of the athletic kids, only a handful of whom had actually gotten to play in the intramural game thanks to the new lottery system, were livid. Our school spirit had suffered a critical blow, and the resulting defeat at the hands of our rivals was absolutely brutal, made even worse by the fact that it was our first loss since my parents had been students at the school, breaking a twenty-four year winning streak.

So, when the next year’s intramural game was being planned, the athletic kids’ parents got together and put out a flier urging the school authorities to return the Annual Baseball Game to its original rule set, letting the team captains choose their own teams without interference from above, and also that the lottery system be abolished.

But the non-athletic kids who weren’t good at playing ball were not about to give up their hard-won time in that glorious once-per-year spotlight in front of our entire community. Their parents, too, buckled down for a fight.

The Parent/Teacher Meeting

There was an emergency parent/teacher meeting called to determine the fate of the annual intramural ball game. The principal herself presided. Things got ugly. The room was divided into two sides: the athletic kids and their parents on one side, and the non-athletic kids and their parents on the other.

There was a lot of yelling. Any rational argument presented by either side was instantly drowned out by shout-downs of “That’s bullshit!” or “You just want YOUR kid to play!”

Eventually, one parent stood up and proposed the whole room take a vote. The audience sat down and those in favor of the new rules raised their hands, then everyone in favor of the old.

The majority of the room, by a fair margin, actually wanted to keep the old rules and let the team captains pick their teams. The principal wasn’t happy about this, but she respected the democratic decision of the parent/teacher meeting and made the call: the team captains could again pick their teams, and the lottery system was to be officially abolished.

Well, that would’ve been nice, but it didn’t last long.

The Protest

The non-athletic kids’ parents were so disgruntled that a few of them stormed out of the conference room, and the next day there was a protest in the staff parking lot of our school. A bunch of the non-athletic kids’ parents stood in the parking lot blocking the teachers’ parking spaces and holding signs with slogans like “No discrimination in our schools!” And “ALL children are special!” And “My child can play ball, too!” Some of the signs even had pictures of the principal with her face crossed out.

The story made the local news. I got interviewed and was on TV for all of ten seconds, saying I thought the whole thing was pretty dumb, and I just wanted to watch a good game. I was disappointed when the clip aired, because I got cut off, and when the segment shifted back to the anchors, they seemed to laugh at my opinion, going so far as to call the protesting parents “heroic” and the non-athletic kids “brave”.

To be honest, a lot of those kids looked like their parents were embarrassing them and they just wanted to go home. But, long story short, the principal caved. We all received a school email the following day after the news program aired, informing us that the old rules were being thrown outagain, and the lottery was being reinstated. Also, there was one additional rule: no more team captains would be grandfathered in from the previous year’s games, and instead from now on the yard narcs would be the team captains.

The note ended with a somber mention that the Annual Baseball Game, our school’s great tradition, should include everyone of every ability, and that we all had different strengths and personalities that made us unique.

I remember thinking to myself: okay, but what the hell does that have to do with baseball?

A Game In Free Fall

We got crushed again at the All-Star Game that year, and the year after. By my second to last year, I stopped going to the annual intramural game all together, and only showed up at the city’s All-Star Game to see the girl I liked and to hang out with my friends.

I sure as hell didn’t care about our team. The really athletic kids who were good at baseball had all long since joined the county’s private youth league, since the Annual Baseball Game was a joke, and none of them had time to practice for or play in the All-Star Game, so only the mediocre kids played. Against our cross-town rivals, who practiced day-in and day-out to beat us, we were nothing. Hell, little old non-athletic, can’t-catch-a-fly-ball-for-nothin me could have made the team at that point with flying colors, but I didn’t want to. Our school was an embarrassment.

That night some of the kids from across town picked a fight with my friends and me. I didn’t know if it was because we were outnumbered, or because we just didn’t have enough school pride to really fight them with heart, but I distinctly remember it was the first time I ever got my ass handed to me in a fistfight. I went home with two black eyes, a fat lip, a chipped front tooth, and two broken ribs.

I wanted to kill those motherfuckers, but part of me also knew that if I had been them, I would have kicked our asses, too. The crushing defeat our school had suffered on the baseball diamond was their way of telling us this was their town. The beating was simply the boilerplate on the message.

Getting my ass kicked wasn’t the worst thing that ever happened to me. In fact, it may have been one of the best, because it forced me to confront my weaknesses in ways I hadn’t had a reason to before. It’s hard to ignore that your heart’s not in the fight when a bigger guy’s boot is kicking in your cheeks and teeth and ribs and you’re feeling every crunch like it’s a steel bat, just like you can’t ignore that your All-Star team is untrained and unprepared for the big game, shouldn’t even be a team at all, when you finally have to watch them getting hopelessly demolished from the bleachers.

Victory may be the greatest thing there is, but defeat isn’t the worst. The worst is a victory you’re given, but that you haven’t earned.

The New New Rules

I was in my last year of grade school when they stopped using hard bats and balls at the intramural Game. The principal had decided it was better to use wiffle balls instead, after some parents complained their kids were getting hurt at practice. Some girl didn’t catch the ball, and it hit her in the face. Her parents threatened to sue the school, then a bunch of other parents jumped on the bandwagon to say their child had been hurt too, and how could the principal let this happen, and didn’t she know this was an outrage, and that her job was at stake, and by God if she didn’t do something about this soon they would, and so on.

In all of one day, our school’s Annual Baseball Game turned into the Annual Wiffle Ball Game.

I didn’t really give a shit about any of it at that point. I remembered loving the Annual Baseball Game when I was a little kid, but that feeling was long gone. Me and a few of my friends showed up just to see what a joke it was, and what we thought would be a ridiculous spectacle turned out to be a completely depressing one instead.

The field was full of non-athletic kids. And I mean, really non-athletic. It was bad. I didn’t know who most of them were. I remember thinking: did they all come out of the Magic card room? Was this the first time they’d been outside all year? Not one of the pale, flabby bodies on that field looked like they could run a lap without stopping to catch their breath. I was embarrassed I had ever felt pride over such a farce.

A single cheering voice echoed from the bleachers. It was the mom of the kid currently batting. The other parents looked overheated, and bored. As her fat, red-faced Huffington rounded first base, Wiffle Ball Mom cupped both hands to her mouth and shouted: “Go on, honey! You can do it! Just do your best!”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the kid playing left field scoop up the ball on his fourth try, and cock his arm to throw it at second base. Then he paused and stayed there, not doing anything. I remembered a new rule the principal had instated, that any kid who hit the ball was to be allowed three bases before the opposing team could try to get them out.

The next year, after I graduated, the principal banned the concept of “outs” from the game entirely.

A few years later, my school pulled out of the All-Star Game too, the reason cited being a lack of financial support from the parents of the student body. But I think poor performance and lack of interest were bigger reasons. We hadn’t won the city’s All-Star Game in years. Forget that we’d been the champions for two decades. What point was there in showing up if no one cared?

Why Nothing Gold Can Stay

By the time my kids were enrolled at the school, the city’s school board had decided not to have an All-Star Game at all, claiming it bred the wrong kind of competition between the town’s two biggest elementary schools, and this rivalry could possibly lead to violence. I sure as hell never ratted out those guys who beat me up back in the day, and I’m sure me and my friends weren’t the only ones. But the school board pushed hard for friendly competition between the two districts on the opposite sides of our town, rather than rivalry. They even dumped a lot of money in advertising dollars, a large portion of their total yearly budget, into raising awareness for the campaign.

Instead of a citywide All-Star Baseball Game, we now have a citywide Wiffle Ball Game. Any kid from the age of 6-18 is allowed to join, regardless of ability and with no prerequisites, physical, mental, or otherwise. I checked it out one year not too long ago out of morbid curiosity, but I was the only person on the diamond other than the umpire, who the taxpayers were compensating either way, regardless of whether or not anyone else showed.

No one did.

Quote of the Times;
“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” – Cosby

Link of the Times;
http://www.buzzfeed.com/hunterschwarz/old-economy-steve-is-a-new-meme-that-will-enrage-all-millenn

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New Study Finds Running For 20 Minutes Each Day Could Add Years Of Soreness To Life

EAST LANSING, MI - According to a study released Wednesday by doctors at Michigan State University, running for 20 minutes every day was found to be effective in adding several years of soreness to people’s lives. “We found that individuals do not need to exercise very much on a daily basis to increase the number of years they live in dull, aching pain,” lead author Dr. Justin Gallo said of the study, which found that for every 10 minutes spent running per day, subjects could expect to gain an additional year of stiffness and discomfort in their calves, glutes, and thighs. “Even subjects who jog just five to 10 minutes a day are likely to see an appreciable increase in the amount of time they live with radiating hip pain and throbbing in their knees. The real takeaway from our research is that just getting off the couch once a day may be enough to give you one or two more years of clutching at your lower back and wincing.” The study further noted that individuals who engage in strenuous runs of five miles or more every day of the week, regardless of temperature and weather conditions, were able to add, on average, an additional decade of being actively despised by acquaintances, coworkers, and casual onlookers to their lives.

*.*

When a barber gives another barber a haircut who's in charge of the talking? And who gets the tip?

When a paranoid has low self-esteem does he think that nobody important is out to get him?

When a position is advertised as 'self-motivated' doesn't that really mean that management won't answer any of your questions?

When a river empties into the sea, why is it called the mouth? Shouldn’t it be called the anus?

When people file into a theatre why do the first ones in always sit in the aisle seats and thus forcing everyone else to step over them to get to their seats? And why do those people sit next to the first people causing the same situation for others?

 *.*

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

BAGHDAD – With the Middle East hopelessly fractured and America’s allies increasingly indistinguishable from its enemies, the Obama administration today said “Fuck it” and announced U.S. troops in the region will just fight each other for the time being. “The truth is, we have no idea who the enemy is anymore, so for now we’ve ordered our forces to just shoot at each other until we can figure out which side we’re supposed to be on,” said White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest. “At least that way half the time we’ll be right, which is better than we’ve been doing lately.”

While the thought of U.S. troops intentionally firing on each other is, “not a pleasant alternative,” Earnest said it makes sense given the situation.

“Look at where things are now,” he said. “Syria, who we oppose, is helping Iraq, who we support, who is fighting ISIS, who we oppose, who got help from Saudi Arabia, who we support, who dislike Iran, who we oppose, who is helping Iraq, who we support, who gets help from Russia, who we oppose, even though they’re friendly with Pakistan, who we support, although they’re helping the Taliban, who we oppose, because they threaten Afghanistan, who we support, even though they like Hamas, who we oppose, who is helping the Syrian rebels, who we support, who are fighting Syra, who we oppose… and it all just starts over again.

“Honestly, just shooting ourselves is a blessing,” he added.

*.*

I woke up dying for a pee in the middle of the night, and spotted a Muslim sneaking around the next door neighbour's yard.

Suddenly, my neighbor came out of nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel, killing him instantly.

He then began to dig a grave with the shovel.

Astonished, I got back into bed.

Jeannie said, "You're shaking, Jack, what is it?"

"You'll never believe what I just saw," I said. "That bastard next door still has my shovel he borrowed last spring!"

*.*

A man told the ringmaster that he was interested in joining the circus as a lion tamer.  The ringmaster asked if he had any experience and the man said, "Why, yes. My father was one of the most famous lion tamers in the world, and he taught me everything he knew."

"Really?" said the ringmaster. "Did he teach you how to make a lion jump through a flaming hoop?"

"Yes he did," the man replied.

"And did he teach you how to have six lions form a pyramid?"

"Yes he did," the man replied.

"And have you ever stuck your head in a lion's mouth?"

"Just once," the man replied.

The ringmaster asked, "Why only once?"

And the man said, "I was looking for my father."

Issue of the Times;
Oh Help. Oh Help. Oh Help. by Fred Reed

Here is a news item that I once might have made up as parody. It is hard, though, to imagine anything too absurd not to exist in a university.  “Female Arizona State University students can receive extra credit for defying social norms and refusing to shave for 10 weeks during the semester.”

Accompanying the news of this enlightened policy was a photograph of the beneficiaries triumphantly exhibiting their armpits. The children were of course trying to shock, which is normal among adolescents. What once would actually have shocked is that the alleged adults in the alleged university encourage their alleged scholars in extended juvenility. (Stray thought:  Why are so many feminists ugly enough to make a freight train take a dirt road?)

Said one of the participating students (I use the word so loosely that it might well cast off and set out into life on its own):

“The experience helped me better understand how pervasive gendered socialization is in our culture. Furthermore, by doing this kind of activist project I was no longer an armchair activist theorizing in the classroom. So much is learned by actually taking part in the theory or idea we learn in the classroom, and we could benefit from this type of pedagogy being taken up by similar classes.”

This solemn gibberish begs for parody, but on contemplation I am more sad than amused. These pitiable girls go through the forms of schooling, but learn nothing beyond a pseudo-intellectual drivel of pubertal rebellion. The story is not an anecdote but a condition, repeated at hundreds of pretend-universities across the land.

And this in institutions that once existed to pass along civilization.

The bleakness of American culture leads one to despair. Subtract technology and nothing is left. Music? Classical composition is dead. The symphony orchestras hold on by their teeth. Opera is unheard and almost unheard of. Book sales drop, and those that sell are mostly trash. Poetry is dead, Shakespeare a comic shorthand for ridiculous irrelevant pedantry.

Talented painters abound, but the nation has no interest in them. Sculpture means curious blobs and shapes said to be art and chosen by suburban arts committees. Theater? How many people have seen a play recently other than a high-school production?

In all the things that once marked civilization, the United States has become a desert, a waste of self-satisfied, pampered, arrogantly ignorant sidewalk peasants. This is curious, since anything the cultivated might want awaits on the web. One may think of Amazon as an automated fifth-century monastery, saving things of worth for an awakening centuries hence.

The female of the race being more susceptible to hysterias than the male, it is not surprising to see theatric idiocy of lofted armpits in departments of Women’s, Transsexual etc Studies. Males seldom show such symptoms of psychiatric stress as bulimia and anorexia. Yet a similar infantilism seems to affect the boys. Girls exhibit a desperate feminism while boys retreat into video games. In their mid-twenties both seem farther from adulthood than my generation was at sixteen. Why?

When I was a stripling in rural Virginia a dispiriting number of years ago, we rebelled with expected hormonal punctuality, knew more than our parents about everything, and behaved with the proper amount of reckless stupidity. Yet we did not cling to our pubescence. The reason, I think, was that we were trying to be adults before we were ready, rather than avoiding adulthood after it was proper. These are very different things.

It is traditional for the old to view their youth in roseate hues it never had and speak of walking barefoot twelve miles daily to high school through eighteen inches of shark-infested snow. We didn’t. Nobody in King George Country was hungry or close to it. I certainly was not.

Yet I remember getting up before first light in January (in, yes, sometimes a foot of snow) to run my paper route, which I did partly because it made me feel semi-grown up (and partly because I had my eye on a thirteen-foot Grumman canoe). It was no big deal. Kids did these things. We were, as they say, transitioning out of kid-hood.

To be sixteen, working the graveyard shift alone at Kriegstedt’s Esso on Route 301, fueling the big eighteen-wheelers that came howling in for diesel at three a.m., talking to the drivers as almost an equal—it was close to manhood. I liked it. We liked it. It was preparation for the big world. Marching for transgendered rights or getting our navels pierced would have seemed lunatic.

It still does. Different world.

Out of the Sixties came the cult of Relevance, meaning a fascination with things of no relevance, and a distaste for learning anything requiring either effort or maturity. Once the chain of cultivation breaks, how do you weld it together? That generation—I was once of them—swept into faculty lounges as a sort of jejune intellectual anthrax and turned the universities into political sand boxes. Soon we had departments of the utterly trivial, and courses like “Lesbian Chicana Theory in the Brazilian Favela.”

Before long there were few, and soon there will be fewer, who knew of the things lost, or why they mattered. Declining societies drink from the sumps below, so the values and dress of the black ghetto became the standard. There came rap music, which isn’t, and the dumbing down of everything to hide the deficiencies of the deficient. Now what?

The rot goes beyond the academic. The whole epicene circus smells of weakness of character. Watching our prancing half-men and furry co-eds, I wonder what would happen to them if it rained hard. America today lives in an unconsciously precarious equilibrium. Some two or three percent of the population grow food for an urbanized country that has never shot a rabbit, baited a hook, or existed other than in the world of McDonald’s, dope, and latchkey afternoons. They seem never to have been in a schoolyard fight, never had to take care of themselves, defend themselves, or to understand that one day they might have to do it.

What if one day Mommy, or Mommy Washington, isn’t around to take care of them? Any disruption—riots, for example, that stopped the flow of food trucks into the cities—would cause devastation.

We have become soft, mentally vacuous, helpless, a civilization on the brink. As the US subsides into - what? - I am gratified that, though feckless, unlettered, and helpless, our university girls will have hairy armpits.

Quote of the Times;
“Government cripples you, then hands you a crutch and says, 'See, if it wasn't for us, you couldn't walk.'” - Browne

Link of the Times;
http://www.returnofkings.com/40352/the-woman-who-posted-her-husbands-sex-spreadsheet-online-did-men-everywhere-a-favour?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter&ModPagespeed=noscript

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Today is National Good Looking Person Day.

Send this to someone gorgeous.

Don't send it back to me, I’ve already received hundreds of the fucking things.

*.* 

After 100 years lying on the sea bed, Irish divers were amazed

to find that the Titanic’s swimming pool was still full.

*.*

Two bears were sitting at the side of the river near Ottawa.
The smaller bear turned to the bigger one and said, 'I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me.
We're the same age; we were the same size as cubs.
I just don't get it.'
'Well,' said the big Bear, 'what have you been eating?'
'Politicians, same as you,' replied the small Bear.
'Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?'
'Down near the parking lot by the Parliament Buildings.'
'Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?'
'Well, I hide under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door.
Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em!'
'Ah!' says the big Bear, 'I think I see your problem.
You're not getting any real nourishment.
See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a Politician, there's nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase.'

*.*

An atheist professor was teaching a college class and he told the class that he was going to prove that there is no God.

He said, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!"

Ten minutes went by. He kept taunting God, saying, "Here I am, God. I'm still waiting."

He got down to the last couple of minutes and a Marine just released from active duty and newly registered in the class walked up to the professor, hit him full force in the face, and sent him flying from  the platform.

The professor struggled up, obviously shaken and yelled, "What's the matter with you?  Why did you do that?"

The Marine replied, "God was busy; He sent me."

*.*

Because I'm a Man (a public service message)

* Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.

* Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.

* Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk , meat or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like cumin or tofu. For all I know, these are the same thing.

* Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.

Though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator. (applies to engineers mainly).

* Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.

* Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't and if you are feeling amorous afterwards, then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.

* Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine.  With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Issue of the Times;
How Feminism Is Ruining “Game of Thrones” by Knight Rider

It’s cliché to complain about how a movie or television show is ruining the source material by departing from the books.  There’s nothing new about bitching that HBO is sabotaging A Song of Ice and Fire, the literary source for its program Game of Thrones, but what’s not being pointed out is why they are doing it.

The answer is feminism.  Television needs to constantly reinforce the egalitarian narrative.  The point of feminism is to absolve women from all responsibility for their actions.  The show does this by creating simplistic explanations for the female characters’ actions and promoting  Mary Sue style “strong women.”

Women in the books have complicated rationalizations for their actions, often deriving from deep seated insecurities and fears.  Like real life women, they rationalize things to themselves based on deluded self-images, rather than reality.  The show does its best to strip these away, the easier to blame everything on men.

1.  Shae

For example, the character of Shae in the television series is a variation on the theme of a “whore with a heart of gold,” with a “strong woman” twist.  She heroically tries to defend Sansa when she is assigned as her handmaiden.  She bickers with Tyrion only over what she sees as threats to her dignity, not money or possessions.  And she actually loves Tyrion, turning against him because of his comment (designed to get her to flee the city) that she is a “whore.”  Needless to say, this is quite a departure from the manipulative, materialistic, and Machiavellian Shae of the books.

2.  Daenerys

Or take Daenerys.  The show turns her into a liberal fantasy figure—at the end of Season 3, literally a blonde savior exalted by a worshipful circle of helpless brown people.  She kills people, but only “bad” people like slavers.  Occasionally she makes bad political decisions, but this just shows the world isn’t moral enough for her.

Her translator Missandei, a child in the books, is of an age with Daenerys so they can share grrl power lines like “All men must die, but we are not men.”  Apparently, you now have to believe that women are not only better than men, but so independent and strong they can overcome death itself.

Her affair with a sellsword is “empowering,” not an emotional decision that could have dire consequences.  The complex motivations behind her willingness to kill to secure power is transformed into egalitarian pabulum, enabled by her royal birth and “magic” power as the “mother of dragons.”

3.  Talisa

The show fundamentally changed the character of Robb Stark’s queen, creating one “Talisa Maegyr.” In the books, Robb’s queen is a minor Westerosi noble whom he feels he must be loyal to in order to preserve her honor.  However misguided, he is chivalrous.

The show gives us a more PC, exotic woman who renounced her noble birth because of her disgust over slavery.  She spends her days tending to the wounded created by the battles of men.  Robb falls in love with her because she is the modern ideal of an independent woman who has renounced her family and background in support of egalitarian ideals—while of course, retaining high social status.

4.  Brienne

In the books, Brienne of Tarth is supposed to be ugly (except for her eyes) and huge.  Catelyn Stark views her with pity and understands that her dedication to King Renly Baratheon comes from her unrequited love for him.  After he dies, she psychologically needs someone else to protect and serve.  Jamie Lannister admires her but doesn’t think of her as objectively attractive.  He also fights her to a standstill even while handcuffed and out of practice.  While she’s still an admirable and brave character, Brienne’s strength derives from a deep insecurity.

The show removes this complexity.  She is portrayed by Gwendoline Christie, who is of unconventional appearance for an actress but not ugly. She defeats her challengers in combat, including Jamie.  She even beats Sandor Clegane in a matchup that never takes place in the books. Instead of being a complex character, she’s just another fictional female superwarrior.

5.  Cercei

Even Cercei gets sympathetic treatment.  In the book, Cercei Lannister is plagued by a mix of insecurity and self-delusion—Tyrion notes that his sister thinks she is “Tywin Lannister with teats.”  Indeed, she looks up to her father partially because it enhances her own self-image as his equal.  She also uses her sexuality as a weapon, betraying her brother (and lover) Jamie, who remains loyal.

The show’s Cercei is portrayed as reacting to her oppressed status as a woman forced to marry men she doesn’t love.  She openly confesses her sexual sins to her own father and roars defiance, defending her independence.  Oh, and a consensual love scene is transformed into a rape.  She’s a survivor now and however brutal her actions, the audience is invited to sympathize with her.

Conclusion

George R.R. Martin is a traditional liberal, but his fiction contains characters with complicated rationalizations for their selfish actions.  The television show gives us a morality play filled with characters whose motivations and actions make no sense in the context of Westeros, but make perfect sense in the 21stcentury liberal imagination.  Even when a female character does something wrong, there is the kind of reason behind it that Tumblr users can understand.

The irony is that the “strong women” characters of Game of Thrones are being turned into cartoons.  They are simply assimilated into the same narrative behind every other television show and movie—patriarchy and tradition are always to blame, and we must sympathize with everything a woman does to fight against her oppression.

It actually dehumanizes the women characters of the show.  After all, they don’t actually make decisions—they simply react to what men do.  But television isn’t about good stories—it’s about propaganda.

Quote of the Times;
“Energy creates energy.  It is by spending myself that I become rich" - Bernhardt

Link of the Times;
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2124170/Cassandra-Kennedy-Father-freed-decade-jail-daughter-admits-lied-raping-11.html

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