Special Forces To Change ‘Free The Oppressed’ Motto After Complaints From Afghans Holding Sex Slaves
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — Top Army leaders have ordered its elite Special Forces unit to change its motto from the Latin “De Opresso Liber” (To liberate the oppressed) to something that would be more culturally sensitive, after a large number of Afghans holding child sex slaves have complained.
“We want to make sure we are not offending our coalition partners and not judging them based on our own biases,” said Col. Dwight S. Barry, a Pentagon spokesperson. “At the end of the day, we just have to respect that raping young boys and mutilating female genitals is just a part of their culture.”
Started in 1952, Army Special Forces chose its Latin motto of “De Opresso Liber” at a time when the U.S. was heavily focused on freeing people around the world from the chains of Soviet Communism. Now decades later, Army leaders want operators to be more aware of cultural differences they may not understand in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Berkeley, California.
The move comes in the wake of numerous complaints from Afghan men, who have chided U.S. military officials over previous run-ins with Special Forces soldiers unaware of the ancient Afghan custom of “bacha bazi.” The practice, which literally translates to “boy play,” consists of chaining children to beds, taking off their clothes, and then sexually assaulting them until they scream “bingo.”
Anger over U.S. military insensitivity toward “bacha bazi” is not the only issue in which Afghans have raised concern. The use of Special Forces “night raids” on high value targets has aroused suspicion among many locals in the past, and U.S. troops expressing discomfort around opium-addicted Afghan policemen as they throw acid in the faces of young girls has strained coalition partnerships.
In one high-profile incident, two Special Forces soldiers beat up an American-backed militia commander after they had learned he had raped a young boy and beat up his mother, a practice which goes back centuries and is perfectly normal in Afghan society. Fortunately, one of the American soldiers decided to leave the Army after the incident, while the other is being kicked out.
Officials are currently weighing a number of potential mottos as replacements, which include “Tolerate Iniustitia (Tolerate Injustice)” and “Ad Dissimulare (To Turn a Blind Eye).”
In addition to the change in motto, the Army band has also been directed to record a new version of the “Ballad of the Green Berets,” which was recorded during the Vietnam War. An initial draft of the lyrics include: “Silver wings upon their chest / These are men, America’s best / One hundred slaves get raped today / But all ignored by the Green Beret.”
A drunk is sitting on the street curb in front of a bar. A stranger comes buy and asks if he's O.K.
The drunk replies by asking, "Do you know who I am?"
The stranger says "No. Who are you?"
The drunk proudly says "I'm Jesus Christ... and I can prove it! Come with me!"
They enter the bar and the bartender looks up and yells "Jesus Christ! Are you here again?"
I Love Her, But...
... she makes lists; Things to buy, things to do, people to call. If it's not on the list, it doesn't get done. Once, to be funny, I put "sex" on the list. Mistake. Now it has to be on the list, or it doesn't get done.
--Nick, Wheeling, W.Va.
... you can hear her eat soup from the next room.
--Bruce, Bridgewater, N.J.
... when she gets an idea in her head, there's no stopping her. And no rest for anyone until it's done. It's not so bad when the idea is to bake cookies, or even to go on vacation. But when it's to build a new house, or to get pregnant, things get pretty intense.
... every so often boom! Shes a brunette. Or I come home to a redhead. Actually, I have no idea what her natural color is.
... she'll brush her teeth but she won't go to the dentist. She says she's not afraid of the pain; she just doesn't want to put herself in the hands of any fellow who'd choose to be a dentist.
--Terence, Gary, Ind.
... Shes stopped shaving her legs. She says that now people will know she's a natural blonde.
--Ned, Tucson, Ariz.
... it annoys her that our children look like me.
--James, New Orleans
... with five kids, I don't have time to complain about my wife. I don't have time to notice her.
--Bob, Charleston, W.Va.
Three men are sitting in the maternity ward of a hospital waiting for the imminent birth of their respective children. One is an Englishman, one a black South African and the other a West Indian.
They are all very nervous and pacing the floor, as you do in these situations. All of a sudden the doctor bursts through the double doors saying "Gentlemen you won't believe this but your wives have all had their babies within 5 minutes of each other." The men are beside themselves with happiness and joy. "And", said the doctor...
"They have all had little boys." The fathers are ecstatic and congratulate each other over and over.
"However we do have one slight problem," the doctor said. "In all the confusion we may have mixed the babies up getting them to the nursery and would be grateful if you could join us there to try and help identify them."
With that the West Indian raced passed the doctor and bolted to the nursery. Once inside he picked up the white skinned infant saying, there's no doubt about it, this boy is mine!" The doctor looked bewildered and said, "Well sir of all the babies I would have thought that maybe this child could be of English descent."
"That's a maybe", said the West Indian, "but one of the other two is a fucking South African and I'm not taking the risk."
Issue of the Times;
Leftist Legal Fictions and the Atheists Who Love Them by David Cole
I’ve never had much use for smug, arrogant leftist atheists like Bill Maher, Ricky Gervais, or Seth MacFarlane, whose smarmy “aren’t we ever-so-clever” attitude I find as irritating as a bur sweater. But this week, it occurred to me that in their own way, these self-satisfied annoyances have done the world a service. In the days before “atheist chic,” your typical left-wing follow-the-leader type could usually be counted on to respond to serious and sober questions with disjointed New Age bullshit. “Why are the school district’s math scores plummeting?” “Well, maybe it’s because we’re, like, confining the children’s cosmic minds by forcing them to adhere to the fascist concept of right and wrong answers, man. Maybe seven plus nine actually does equal 84, and these rainbow starchildren are trying to teach us a new way of thinking, man.”
Don’t get me wrong; 1970s-style Shirley MacLaine hooey still exists and still gets spouted. But thanks to atheist chic, there’s a new crop of leftists who braid “What Would Dawkins Do?” into their hipster beards (or their armpits, in the case of the women). These young leftists shun chakras and past lives in favor of almighty science. It’s a step up from the days of “There are no objective standards.” The smug atheist leftists will at least admit that there are standards, and that there are mathematical and scientific facts (all hail Dawkins, PBUH).
The overwhelming majority of these smug atheists are pro-choice, which is why last week was such a bad week for the “science is my God” leftists. They found out, much to their chagrin, that tumors have internal organs. Don’t you just love science?
“Science fact is now hate speech, thanks to an irrational leftist legal fiction that denies biological reality.”
The typical atheist leftist doesn’t have the guts to admit that abortion involves extinguishing a living being. Rather than displaying the boldness that atheists love to think they possess by just flat-out admitting, “Yes, it involves ending a life, but I prefer it to the alternative of women being forced by the government to carry to full term”—which would be an intellectually honest position—they prefer instead to speak of fetuses as “tumors,” the removal of which should spark no more concern, and just as much joy, as the removal of a cancerous cyst. So the stark, unpleasant image of a Planned Parenthood official discussing the removal of fetal organs over a standard-issue hipster luncheon of salad and wine was not good news for the “IFLScience” set. Because the notion that fetuses are tumors is one of the great pseudoscientific myths of the “we’re superior because we reject myths” crowd.
But it’s not the only myth. If you know one of these smug atheist leftists, it’s almost inevitable that you’ve heard them self-righteously grouse about the Citizens United decision and “corporate personhood.” “Corporations are not people. Does a corporation have, like, lungs and a liver and a heart? No, man. Corporate personhood is not scientific.” Hey, leftists, please allow me to introduce you to the concept of “legal fiction,” defined as “an assertion accepted as true, though probably fictitious, to achieve a particular goal in a legal matter.” I’d tried my best after Citizens United to explain the purpose and value of legal fictions to my leftist friends. But since leftists are typically only capable of grasping a concept once it becomes clear how it benefits them (“States’ rights means racism! Wait, it also means legalized pot? States’ rights rocks!”), I think the aftermath of the Planned Parenthood video is as good a moment as any to explain to leftists how they benefit from legal fictions.
One of the most blatant legal fictions in the U.S. today is that life begins when a woman says it does. In most states, a woman can be on her way to an abortion clinic to get her “tumor” legally sucked out, but if she stops at a mini-mart to buy some smokes and rethinks her decision, and if she gets caught in the middle of a robbery and takes a bullet to the gut and loses the baby, the robber can be charged with murder for doing exactly what the abortionist was about to do legally. If a woman wants to get an abortion, the baby is a tumor and the act is legal. If a woman wants to keep the baby, it’s a baby and anyone else can be prosecuted for harming it. To deal with the obvious contradiction between prosecuting people who destroy fetuses in some situations and protecting those who do it in others, a legal fiction was created, namely that life begins when it’s wanted. A wanted fetus is a life. An unwanted fetus is a tumor.
Well, guess what? That ain’t science. That’s as phony a concept as a corporation being a person. But a leftist will undeniably argue that this legal fiction is necessary in a society in which the destruction of a fetus is legal if the mother desires it, but illegal if the mother doesn’t. And maybe it is necessary. I’m not weighing in at all with my own opinion on the abortion minefield. All I’m saying is that smug atheist leftists should confront the existence of this legal fiction, and they should probably ask themselves why they’re okay with a medical health policy that has absolutely no basis in science. I mean, if everything is supposed to be all rational and scientific and Neil deGrasse Tyson-approved and all, “Life begins when it’s wanted” is as far from scientifically sound as possible. Does human life begin at conception? At viability outside the womb? At birth? Wherever you stand, human life does not begin when it’s desired. That’s pure hoodoo-voodoo superstition.
Few leftists are willing to confront this big steaming bowl of irrationality, and when they do, it’s usually with no sense of irony or self-awareness. Mary Elizabeth Williams, writing in Salon, argues that the difference between a stranger destroying a fetus and a woman and doctor doing the same is that the humanity of the fetus is based on the “dreams” of the mother. If the woman “dreams of becoming a mom,” and those dreams are dashed by anyone other than her, destroying a fetus is murder. The “science” of whether a fetus is a person or not comes down to the mother’s dreams. Science and medical policy based on dreams. Wow. And you’re okay with that, oh, ye spawns of Sagan? Should we hand over all medical science questions to a Yaqui shaman dream interpreter?
I could devote another entire piece to the new big leftist legal fiction—that gender is nothing more than how one chooses to “identify.” No biology involved at all, just desire, just pure old-fashioned wishing-well magic. This is, of course, another 100 percent antiscience construct. And it’s another way in which smug atheist leftists are proving that they can take to faith-based antiscience twaddle as easily as any “young Earth” creationist.
Last week, on what might as well have been called “Caitlyn Jenner Day” (also known as “the day hipster millennials learned there’s a channel called ESPN”), I posted this sentence in threads on a couple of trans-positive Facebook pages:
The fact is that women are different from men. The science backs this up. It’s taboo in some circles to suggest that we’re genetically different from each other, and yet we are. Sex is a biological construct. There are sex differences between men and women, and how those differences manifest and what happens, from a genetic level to how the body operates, is different.
In each case, I was attacked for being an ignorant, trans-hating bully, and my comments were removed. But that quote I posted…where’s it from? The first two sentences are from Phyllis Greenberger, president and CEO of the Society for Women’s Health Research (science!), writing in the Huffington Post. The rest is from Tamarra James-Todd, an epidemiologist at Harvard Medical School (science!), from an interview in The Guardian. Both women were writing about the dangers to women’s health posed by not including female test subjects in medical research.
Science fact is now hate speech, thanks to an irrational leftist legal fiction that denies biological reality. Most smug atheist leftists will undoubtedly deal with the cognitive dissonance by ignoring it. It’s amazing the extent to which the human mind can compartmentalize. “We’re better than those ignorant right-wingers because we believe in science, man! Oh, and fetuses are either living beings or nonliving tumors based entirely on the dreams of the mother, gender has no basis in biology, and wishing real hard can turn a dude into a woman.”
Best of luck in dealing with those contradictions, my little Bill Mahers. Vaya con ciencia.
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