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Bear Grylls should take the spoiled rich kids from MTV's My Super Sweet 16 to live in the wild and name the show "Grylls Scouts"
If a pizza has radius 'z' and a thickness of 'a', then its volume can be defined as Pi(z*z)a
Starbucks employees have to work at a business where 100% of the customers have not yet had their cup of morning coffee. Sounds like the most hostile work environment ever. Hats off to those baristas.
If there's ever an X-men movie solely about Mystique, a mirror would make a great movie poster.
There is no difference between counterfeit money and real money until someone realizes it's counterfeit.
I pay every month to get my hair cut, a subscription fee for my hairstyle.
I'm really good at solving Rubik's cubes in reverse.
'Hotness' is the speed limit of soup-eating
I wish I could google smells.
If you took two GoPros, a drone, an Oculus rift, and some programming, you could watch yourself in 3rd-person in real time and control yourself like a Grand Theft Auto character.
The teacher noticed that Johnny had been daydreaming for a long time. She decided to get his attention. "Johnny," she said, "If the world is 25,000 miles around and eggs are sixty cents a dozen, how old am I?
"Thirty-four," Johnny answered unhesitatingly.
The teacher replied "Well, that's not far from my actual age. Tell me...how did you guess?"
Oh, there's nothing to it," Johnny said. "My big sister is seventeen and she's only half-crazy."
Fred was telling his friend how his uncle tried to make a new car for himself..."so he took wheels from a Cadillac, a radiator from a Ford, some tires and fenders from a Plymouth..."
"Holy Cow," interrupted his friend, "What did he end up with?"
Fred replied, "Four years with time off for good behavior."
A man is sitting on his front stoop staring morosely at the ground when his neighbor strolls over.
The neighbor tries to start a conversation several times, but the older man barely responds. Finally, the neighbor asks what the problem is.
"Well," the man says, "I ran afoul of one of those questions women ask. Now I'm in the doghouse."
"What kind of question?" the neighbor asks.
"My wife asked me if I would still love her when she was old, fat and ugly."
"That's easy," says the neighbor. "You just say, 'Of course I will'".
"Yeah," says the other man, "that's what I meant to say. But what came out was, 'Of course I do.'"
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Issue of the Times;
7 Myths About the Crusades by Adam N. Crawford
The Crusades were never referred to as such by their participants.
The original crusaders were known by various terms, including fideles Sancti Petri (the faithful of Saint Peter) or milites Christi (knights of Christ). The word “Crusade” is a relatively modern term, from the French croisade and Spanish cruzada. The French form of the word first appears in the L’Histoire des Croisades written by A. de Clermont and published in 1638. It wasn’t until 1750 that the various forms of the word “Crusade” had established themselves in English, French, and German. The origin of the word may be traced to the cross (crux) made of (typically) red cloth and sewn as a badge onto the outer garment of those who took part in these enterprises. This “taking of the cross”, eventually became associated with the entire journey. The crusaders saw themselves as undertaking a journey, or a peregrinate – an armed pilgrimage. Additionally, before the 16th century the words “Muslim” and “Islam” were very rarely used by Europeans. During the Crusades the term widely used for Muslim was Saracen. In Greek and Latin this term had a longer evolution from the beginning of the first millennia where it referred to a people who lived in desert areas around the Roman province of Arabia and who were distinguished from Arabs. The Crusades took place under the direction of the Popes and were all announced by preaching. After pronouncing a solemn vow, each warrior received a cross from the hands of the Pope or his legates, and was thenceforth considered a soldier of the Church. The Crusades were wars undertaken in the name of Christendom, but not primarily for religious reasons.
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